1
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,559
♪ "Sugar Baby Love"

2
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,360
♪ Sugar baby love

3
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,919
♪ Sugar baby love

4
00:01:07,919 --> 00:01:10,120
♪ I didn't mean to make you blue...

5
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,680
How about it, kitten?  
What's the chance of a bit tonight?

6
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,160
Oh, why, yes. Of course, boys.
I'll leave the front door open

7
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,440
and you can all troop in
and give me a jab.

8
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,279
Not up to it, then.
You innocent, shovel-wielding,

9
00:01:24,279 --> 00:01:27,000
horny-handed sons of the native sods.

10
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,760
Not many people are, munchkin.

11
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:33,720
Not many people
can take the tale of Patrick Braden,

12
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,400
AKA Saint Kitten,
who strutted the catwalks,

13
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,599
face lit by a halo of flashbulbs as,

14
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,480
"Ooh," she shrieked, "I told you,
from my best side, darlings."

15
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:49,120
'I was born, you see, munchkin, in
a small town near the Irish border.'

16
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,480
'I was left in a basket
on a certain doorstep

17
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,919
and only the robins knew why.'

18
00:01:54,919 --> 00:01:58,120
'Oh, but then they knew
everybody's business.'

19
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,519
'Those red-breasted busybodies!'

20
00:02:00,519 --> 00:02:05,199
'Every secret behind every
lace-curtain window.'

21
00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,000
♪ Sugar baby love

22
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,400
♪ I didn't mean to make you blue

23
00:02:37,559 --> 00:02:42,080
♪ Sugar baby love

24
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,919
♪ Sugar baby love...

25
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,120
♪ People

26
00:02:58,199 --> 00:02:59,839
♪ Take my advice

27
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,959
♪ If you love someone

28
00:03:03,959 --> 00:03:06,319
♪ Don't think twice

29
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:10,000
♪ Love your baby love...

30
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,919
♪ Love her, anyway

31
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,800
♪ Love her every day... ♪

32
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,120
Robins. Would you believe it,  
Father? Pecking at the cream.

33
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,959
I suppose it's Christmas morning,  
after all.

34
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,440
Is your breakfast alright?

35
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,480
Well, I'll get ready for mass, so. 
God bless.

36
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,760
God bless.

37
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,879
He hasn't been himself lately, sure.

38
00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:23,120
Just the job - Cutex Coral Pink.

39
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,480
"Ooh, will have the love seat?"
The love seat? Why not?

40
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,000
"Mmm. Mr Lovejoy
will see you in a moment."

41
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,000
"He's congratulating  
one of our happy couples."

42
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:47,879
"Perhaps you'd like a glass of  
champers?" Now you're talking.

43
00:04:47,879 --> 00:04:50,160
"A piece of wedding cake?"

44
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,238
Me good shoes! You little brat!

45
00:04:59,238 --> 00:05:03,599
Teach him not to ever do that again!
He'll make a disgrace of us!

46
00:05:03,599 --> 00:05:05,919
Well, you'll not!  
Do you have to?

47
00:05:05,919 --> 00:05:10,040
I'll march you up the street in  
front of the whole town! Promise?

48
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,599
Hit him with it, Ma!  
Give him the brush again!

49
00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:16,160
Say, "I am not a girl."  
I'm not a girl. I am a boy!

50
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,599
I'm a boy not a girl.
Make him say it right, Ma!

51
00:05:19,599 --> 00:05:23,360
My heart broke from the cursed day 
I ever took you in!

52
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,279
Brother Barnabas says he'll try you 
on the football team. Read this.

53
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:04,319
..and I call my mother names.
Well, you shouldn't do that, my son.

54
00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:07,800
What do you call her?  
"Hairy arse."

55
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,360
"Hairy arse" and "Bockety hole."

56
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,360
And "Cunt hooks."

57
00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:26,199
Stay where you are!  
You must not proceed! Jesus!

58
00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:30,919
If you curse, you'll be  
exterminated. Holy fuck!

59
00:06:30,919 --> 00:06:34,919
You've been warned, you fiend!
Now you must die! No, Danny! Please!

60
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,720
Sausages! Stay where you are!  
Of course! Please don't shoot!

61
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,519
Boom, boom ,boom!

62
00:06:45,519 --> 00:06:49,319
Boys, come on! Come on!  
I'm busy! I'm busy!

63
00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:52,040
Pow!

64
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,279
Oh, figglyboogers, I'm dead!

65
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:57,559
Died for Ireland?  
I'm sorry, but it appears to me

66
00:06:57,559 --> 00:07:00,800
that someone here has taken leave  
of their senses.

67
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,639
Dying for Ireland's ugly.  
Stay where you are.

68
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:07,639
Oh, come on, Englishman.
How about it, please?

69
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:15,080
And next up is the dashing Felix,  
sporting a smoking jacket,

70
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:20,000
fedora hat and sunglasses by Gucci. 
Madam.

71
00:07:23,199 --> 00:07:25,720
The man himself!

72
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,959
Your mother is back in a while.

73
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,440
So, how's Patrick  
and the Braden household?

74
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:39,760
They're well, Mr Feely, especially
my mother, wherever she is.

75
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,760
So, someone's told you something,  
Patrick?

76
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:49,239
They don't have to. Hairy-arse Braden
tells me every day.

77
00:07:49,239 --> 00:07:53,120
Ah, Patrick, now.  
I'm sorry, Mr Feely.

78
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,440
You know, I saw her once,  
your real mother,

79
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,120
long after the day she left.

80
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,319
It was in London.

81
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:12,199
I was doing work for  
Jeanie McQuilan.

82
00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:19,000
I was going home through Piccadilly.
There passing by was my Eily Bergin.

83
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,559
Lovely as the day she left,  
I swear to God.

84
00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,160
Did you talk to her, Mr Feely?
What did she say?

85
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,519
I shouted after her, Patrick,  
but she didn't hear.

86
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:36,519
London swallowed her up.

87
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:41,120
The most beautiful girl in the town.

88
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:46,040
The biggest city in the world
swallowed my mother up.

89
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:52,440
What about my father, Mr Feely?
Ah, I wouldn't know about that.

90
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,279
Things are a bit complicated,  
you know?

91
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,760
What did she look like?

92
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,440
Mitzi Gaynor, son.

93
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,160
That's who she looked like. Mitzi.

94
00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:11,958
Mitzi Gaynor.

95
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:13,120
Well, fuck me pink
with a hairy arse!

96
00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:27,400
In the name of the Father and  
the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

97
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,599
You see, once upon a time,

98
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:46,360
there was a young girl
named Eily Bergin,...

99
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,919
..who looked not unlike the
well-known film star, Mitzi Gaynor,

100
00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:55,120
who sang I'm Gonna Wash That Man
Right Out Of My Hair.

101
00:10:56,639 --> 00:11:01,519
She went to London, the biggest city
in the world, which swallowed her up.

102
00:11:01,519 --> 00:11:05,239
But before she vanished,

103
00:11:05,239 --> 00:11:09,040
I think she worked
as a priest's housekeeper, Father.

104
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,559
But I could be wrong, couldn't I?

105
00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:14,279
I mean, I could be wrong.
After all, I -

106
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,120
All I wanted was her address.

107
00:11:30,319 --> 00:11:32,480
..the climate is always the same.

108
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,080
The landscape never changes.  
In a country like this,

109
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,440
you can stop along any road for  
a moment and look at a farmhouse

110
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,239
sitting in the middle  
of maize and hemp

111
00:11:42,239 --> 00:11:45,440
and immediately, a story is born.

112
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,400
And when you're writing  
your essay this morning,

113
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,239
whatever form it takes is up to you.

114
00:11:51,239 --> 00:11:55,559
I can be called,...  
I Fought In The Easter Rising,...

115
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,279
..I Was Dracula's Girlfriend,

116
00:12:00,279 --> 00:12:03,599
or even A Day In The Life  
Of An Auld Bull.

117
00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:09,000
You've got one hour,  
so let us write.

118
00:12:28,279 --> 00:12:31,080
"Ach, God bless us."

119
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,879
"It's yourself."

120
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:37,559
Ach, God bless us. It's yourself.  
It is indeed, Father.

121
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,839
"Remarked r-r-r-randy,

122
00:12:40,839 --> 00:12:43,120
Father Liam,

123
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,639
as he opened the door

124
00:12:46,639 --> 00:12:49,440
to a young woman

125
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:54,160
who bore a startling resemblance
to Mitzi Gaynor."

126
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:58,559
So, you're the replacement for  
Mrs Meglin? I am, indeed, Father.

127
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:03,239
Destroyed with the lumbago, she is. 
She'll be back on her feet soon,

128
00:13:03,239 --> 00:13:05,879
please God.  
Ah, please God she will not.

129
00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:10,639
But tell me this,  
have I begun to dote

130
00:13:10,639 --> 00:13:14,080
or do you remind me  
of someone special?

131
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,279
"When she sensed a movement

132
00:13:17,279 --> 00:13:20,800
underneath
his black serge trousers..."

133
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,919
Oh, Father, please. How could I?

134
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:26,679
And I've gone out of my way  
knowing that your dickie doodle,

135
00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,360
naughty poopster that he is,  
given the slightest encouragement,

136
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,760
will be only too eager to get up to
mischief... Down! Naughty dickie!

137
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,319
..to camouflage myself and  
look like any ordinary drudge.

138
00:13:38,319 --> 00:13:42,559
"I'm most definitely not

139
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:49,080
a perfumed spring vision
of Mitzi Gaynor

140
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:53,400
with a head of bubble-cut curls

141
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,559
that would make
any man's privates go... Sproom!

142
00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:01,279
I've got the standard uniform,  
Father. The blue coat with the bow.

143
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,879
The tan stockings.  
Colour - stale tea.

144
00:14:04,879 --> 00:14:07,319
The auld hair net  
which says to those Mickeys

145
00:14:07,319 --> 00:14:11,279
whose duty it is to wear  
black serge, "No Mickeys today!"

146
00:14:11,279 --> 00:14:14,080
Down, boys!
Off with you and say your prayers.

147
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,239
Breakfast, Father?  
By God, now you're talking.

148
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:26,360
"..and no matter
how much you tell him,

149
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:30,319
he simply won't stay down."

150
00:14:30,319 --> 00:14:34,000
"But drab old house coats
and tea-coloured stockings

151
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,680
might well have kept him down

152
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,319
if it wasn't
for that pesky spot of grease."

153
00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:42,559
Oh, this is powerful altogether!

154
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:47,120
I would do jail for another rasher, 
do you know that, Eily?

155
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,839
I'll fry you some more  
this minute then, Father.

156
00:14:50,879 --> 00:14:54,919
Mmm. Did you hear the one about
peanuts at confession?

157
00:14:54,919 --> 00:14:59,000
No, Father. I don't think so.  
Says the priest to the young fella,

158
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,279
"Did you throw peanuts  
in the river?"

159
00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:04,559
The young lad says,  
"No, Father, I am Peanuts."

160
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:15,400
"Not a very funny joke
but she laughed and she laughed."

161
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,879
"In fact, you could say
she laughed until she cried."

162
00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:23,760
Oops. My skirt and house coat  
are riding up.

163
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,879
I'll have to abort this task  
or we could have a clergyman

164
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:29,599
filling the air  
with pent-up sexual energy! No!

165
00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:31,959
Priest grows wings
in latest miracle! Eily!

166
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:36,800
"When she found herself
enveloped by her skirts."

167
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,680
 Father, is this another joke?

168
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,959
Ow! That hurts, Father!

169
00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:46,559
Frank Sinatra wouldn't do this,  
Father! Neither would Vic Damone!

170
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:49,160
Oh, I'm all wet, Father!

171
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,559
What are you doing down there,  
Father?

172
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,239
Are you playing Squidge  
with the Fairy Liquid?

173
00:15:54,239 --> 00:15:56,639
"But she was soon to realise

174
00:15:56,639 --> 00:16:00,559
it wasn't Fairy Liquid
he'd been playing with down there."

175
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,680
"The... end."

176
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,080
'No.'

177
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,199
'It wasn't Fairy liquid, at all.'

178
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,000
When I said develop
your literary skills,

179
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,839
I did not,... did not mean this...

180
00:16:27,839 --> 00:16:31,000
Why did you write it?  
I thought there was a moral, sir,

181
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,239
a lesson, if you will.
Young girls in mortal danger -

182
00:16:35,239 --> 00:16:39,160
Get out of this classroom!  
To the Dean's office!

183
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,360
Hello, class. My name's Miss Kitten.

184
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,959
I'd like to tell you about the perils
of being a priest's housekeeper,

185
00:16:44,959 --> 00:16:47,400
especially when you look like
Mitzi Gaynor.

186
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,120
Hands up if you can tell me
who Mitzi Gaynor is.

187
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,080
So, you see, Patrick,  
we're on your side.

188
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:57,800
We're here to help you. I don't  
think you understand that. No, I do.

189
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,839
So, if you can think of anything  
that would help us to help you...

190
00:17:03,199 --> 00:17:07,879
Well,... there is one thing, Father.

191
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:15,839
Instead of PE, I could take
Home Economics and Needlework class.

192
00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:22,599
And you think that would help you  
knuckle down and apply yourself?

193
00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:30,959
What's that, Patrick?  
Oh, you can call me Kitten, Father.

194
00:17:30,959 --> 00:17:34,519
Kitten?  
Yes. Patrick Kitten Braden,

195
00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:36,440
after Saint Kitten.

196
00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:43,760
Er, there was no "Saint Kitten",  
Patrick.

197
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,480
Oh, but there was a Saint Caellainn,
Father,

198
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:51,319
and some have been known to call him,
or was it a her, Kitten.

199
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,800
Saint Kitten?  
Mmm-hmm.

200
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,559
He or she was
an acolyte of Saint Patrick.

201
00:17:58,559 --> 00:18:01,800
Wore a dress,
as did Saint Patrick, actually.

202
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,559
A halo dress. It would quite
ruin your complexion.

203
00:18:06,559 --> 00:18:09,480
And they're for your sister,  
Patrick? Mmm-hmm.

204
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,160
She really needs a bit of glamour
in her life, Mrs Coyle.

205
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,879
But then again,... don't we all?

206
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:20,800
"The trouble broke out  
as the Minister of State

207
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,160
for Northern Ireland was  
visiting Derry to see businessmen

208
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,080
for the second time inside a month."

209
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,440
Oh, Jesus, Mammy, I'm exhausted!

210
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,559
At least you have a job,

211
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:35,119
which is more than that waster  
yonder is ever likely to have.

212
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,440
One more complaint from that school 
and it'll not be good for you.

213
00:18:40,599 --> 00:18:42,638
Oh, Mammy?

214
00:18:42,638 --> 00:18:45,519
Do you have the price of the dance
and a cup of coffee?

215
00:18:45,519 --> 00:18:48,239
The price of a dance  
and a cup of coffee?!

216
00:18:48,239 --> 00:18:51,040
The price of a dance  
AND a cup of coffee?!

217
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:54,839
And do you think
I'm made of money, eh, eh?

218
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:57,400
Eh, eh? Why don't you
just hand over the cash?

219
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,559
Will you just fork out the money and
stop blathering, you fucking crow.

220
00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:04,879
Here. And don't ask me again.

221
00:19:04,879 --> 00:19:08,559
Oh, thank you so much, Mammy.
Thank you so much.

222
00:19:08,559 --> 00:19:11,040
♪ "Good Looking Woman" - Joe Dolan

223
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,720
♪ When God created a woman for me

224
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:22,839
♪ He must have been
in a beautiful mood

225
00:19:22,839 --> 00:19:26,239
♪ To show the world
what a woman could be

226
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,279
♪ When he created a woman like you...

227
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,480
♪ He made the sun shine
right out of your eyes

228
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,800
♪ And he made the moon glow
all over your hair

229
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:45,359
♪ He put a soft, summer breeze
in your sighs

230
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:50,279
♪ So you could breath summer
into the air...

231
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:53,000
No. No, no, no, no, no.  
Why not?

232
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,000
I'm not obliged to give you reasons 
but I'll give you two - him and her.

233
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,919
We don't have to stand for this,  
Paddy? "Paddy?" That's reason three.

234
00:20:00,919 --> 00:20:05,119
Did you ever ride a man, Mickey?  
No, but I know a man that did!

235
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,680
Fuck youse!  
Evening.

236
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,480
Mikey, go get the lads.

237
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:16,720
Now, now, lads!
I'm warning you, get out of here!

238
00:20:21,239 --> 00:20:23,839
Fuck them! We'll go to the glen!

239
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,559
Excuse me. Ahem. Can we have a lift?

240
00:20:31,559 --> 00:20:33,559
Huh?!

241
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,680
Get on.

242
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,559
Moving out.

243
00:20:39,559 --> 00:20:43,638
♪ Do you know what
they had forgotten to do

244
00:20:43,638 --> 00:20:48,319
♪ Up there where they make
all those heavenly things

245
00:20:48,319 --> 00:20:53,040
♪ They made an angel as lovely as you

246
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,760
♪ But they'd forgotten
to fit you with wings ♪

247
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:02,359
Druids, man.  
They're like the Border Knights -

248
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,160
knew all about  
the space-time continuum.

249
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,359
No. Laurence! No. Excuse me. Please.
Open his eyes.

250
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,638
What do you see, bro?  
Sausages.

251
00:21:13,638 --> 00:21:17,879
No stars?  
Stars and sausages.

252
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:26,839
Now you're talking. We gotta get  
behind the surface. S-Surface?

253
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:30,080
I see four green fields.

254
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:35,359
Brits in one of them. Not for  
fucking long. No politics, man.

255
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,720
Border Knights don't allow them.  
Jams the astral highway.

256
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,760
So, why do you call yourself  
the Border Knights?

257
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,680
Because the only border that matters

258
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,879
is the one between what's in front

259
00:21:49,879 --> 00:21:52,519
and what you've left behind.

260
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:56,160
When I ride my hog,
do you think I'm riding the road?

261
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:59,359
No way, man. I'm travelling  
from the past into the future

262
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,919
with a druid at my back.

263
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,199
Druid man or druid woman?
That doesn't matter.

264
00:22:08,879 --> 00:22:11,359
What matters is the journey.

265
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,480
You know where it goes, baby?  
Where?

266
00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:21,519
♪ We'll visit the stars  
and journey to Mars

267
00:22:21,519 --> 00:22:26,440
♪ Finding our breakfast...  
on Pluto ♪

268
00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:30,519
Pluto?
Pluto.

269
00:22:30,519 --> 00:22:34,879
Woof! Woof! 
No, not Pluto the dog!

270
00:22:34,879 --> 00:22:37,279
Pluto the planet!

271
00:22:37,279 --> 00:22:42,440
Named by Percival Lowell  
and William H Pickering

272
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,000
after the invisible
king of the underworld.

273
00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:55,359
You think about that.

274
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,319
Woof! Woof!

275
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,560
Oh, kiss me, Joseph.
Kiss me, Joseph. I'm ready.

276
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,560
I'll beat the fucking -

277
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,520
Now, boys and girls,

278
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,000
a retreat is time  
for prayer and reflection.

279
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,600
Some of you may have already noticed

280
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,119
that your bodies  
are going through some changes.

281
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,200
And I would like you to feel free

282
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,719
to approach us about any problem  
that concerns you.

283
00:23:33,719 --> 00:23:40,719
So, I will leave this problem box  
here by the altar rails.

284
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:43,359
No problem should be precluded.

285
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:47,439
After all, that is why we are here.

286
00:23:47,439 --> 00:23:50,880
Now, remember last week...

287
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,600
You'll not bring  
my retreat into disrepute!

288
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,200
How dare you?! How dare you?!  
You're hurting me.

289
00:24:10,398 --> 00:24:13,759
What did you write in your paper,  
Patrick? Nothing.

290
00:24:13,759 --> 00:24:17,840
Nothing. It was just, did he know
any place that does a sex change?

291
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,039
Disgraced! Disgraced in front  
of the whole town, so we are!

292
00:24:40,039 --> 00:24:44,159
Oh, Jesus! How could you do it,  
Paddy? Mammy has a bad heart!

293
00:24:44,159 --> 00:24:48,479
And now you've broken it!  
Oh, God! Oh, God! Jesus Christ!

294
00:24:48,479 --> 00:24:51,880
She's not my mammy.
What did you say?

295
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:56,079
I'm sorry, Cas.
I'm sorry, Mammy, wherever you are.

296
00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:58,479
Oh. Stop it, Patrick, please.

297
00:24:58,479 --> 00:25:01,799
Why don't you stop it and let us  
get on with our lives?! Sorry.

298
00:25:01,799 --> 00:25:05,320
I never meant to hurt you.
We've both been through this -

299
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,520
Get away!  
Get your hands off me, you creature!

300
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,960
Oh, fiddlyboogers.

301
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,960
What's the point?

302
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,679
That's it.
I've tried my best. I'm off.

303
00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:21,079
♪ You're breaking my heart
You're tearing it apart

304
00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,000
♪ So, fuck you!

305
00:25:26,039 --> 00:25:29,560
♪ All I wanna do
is have a good time...

306
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:34,280
Are youse going to Scotsfield? We're 
playing there tonight. Get in.

307
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:38,398
♪ You wanna boogaloo
Run down to Tramps

308
00:25:38,398 --> 00:25:42,280
♪ Have a dance or two
Ooh

309
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,039
♪ You're breaking my heart
You're tearing it apart

310
00:25:46,039 --> 00:25:48,200
♪ So, fuck you!

311
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,600
♪ You're breaking my heart
You're tearing it apart... ♪

312
00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:00,000
What do you think of this trouble  
up north? It's an absolute terror.

313
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,439
Do you think so, yeah? A terror
to the living world, so it is.

314
00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:08,640
I don't think you care either way, 
my good-looking young friend.

315
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:14,000
No, I know how serious it is. They  
think they can break us, don't they?

316
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,039
Hang Paddy from the ceiling,  
fuck him from a helicopter,

317
00:26:18,039 --> 00:26:20,840
give him a dose of white noise,

318
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,320
shove electrodes up his arse.  
Now, really, Mr -

319
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,520
Hatchett.  
They call me Billy Hatchett.

320
00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:29,719
Pleased to meet you, Mr Hatchett.

321
00:26:29,719 --> 00:26:33,200
You really don't know who I am,  
do you?

322
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,359
I haven't had the pleasure.

323
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,359
Hear that, lads?

324
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:40,398
He's never heard of  
Billy Hatchett and the Mohawks.

325
00:26:40,398 --> 00:26:44,439
♪ Woomba, woomba, woomba...

326
00:26:44,439 --> 00:26:47,960
♪ By the banks of the river

327
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:52,759
♪ Lived a sweet Indian maid

328
00:26:52,759 --> 00:26:57,039
♪ Running bare little white dove

329
00:26:57,039 --> 00:26:59,240
♪

330
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,960
♪ Hiawatha didn't bother too much

331
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,679
♪ About Minnie Ha-Ha  
and her tender touch

332
00:27:14,679 --> 00:27:17,880
♪ She took him to the silver stream

333
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:22,359
♪ Then she whispered words  
like he'd never heard

334
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,920
♪ That made him all shiver inside

335
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,439
♪ When she said...

336
00:27:26,439 --> 00:27:29,759
♪ Wig-wam bam  
Gonna make you my man

337
00:27:29,759 --> 00:27:33,719
♪ Wam bam bam  
Gonna get you if I can

338
00:27:33,719 --> 00:27:37,079
♪ Wig-wam bam  
Gonna make you understand

339
00:27:37,079 --> 00:27:40,719
♪ Try a little touch  
Try a little too much

340
00:27:40,719 --> 00:27:43,119
♪ Try a little wig-wam bam

341
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,398
♪ Running Bear never cared enough

342
00:27:49,398 --> 00:27:53,119
♪ About Little White Dove  
and her tender love

343
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:57,119
♪ Till she took him  
to the silver stream

344
00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,960
♪ She told him all about  
what he couldn't live without

345
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,320
♪ And made him all weak inside

346
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,759
♪ When she said...

347
00:28:04,759 --> 00:28:08,320
♪ Wig-wam bam  
Gonna make you my man

348
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,880
♪ Wam bam bam  
Gonna get you if I can

349
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,640
♪ Wig-wam bam  
Wanna make you understand

350
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,000
♪ Try a little touch  
Try a little too much

351
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,600
♪ Just try a little wig-wam bam ♪

352
00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:27,560
So, have you somewhere  
to stay tonight, Paddy?

353
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,759
Or should I call you... Patrick?

354
00:28:30,759 --> 00:28:34,600
Hmm. You can call me Kitten, darling.

355
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,799
Kitten?  
Mmm-hmm.

356
00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:39,039
After Saint Caellainn.

357
00:28:39,039 --> 00:28:42,600
He or she was an acolyte of Patrick,
Saint Patrick.

358
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,240
So, you have somewhere to stay then?

359
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,240
Mammy threw me out, I'm afraid.

360
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:53,119
Well, I could always, er,...  
put you up in the van.

361
00:28:53,119 --> 00:28:55,359
It's not much but...  
Oh.

362
00:28:55,359 --> 00:28:58,359
Mr Hatchett.

363
00:29:01,719 --> 00:29:03,719
Thank you.

364
00:29:06,679 --> 00:29:08,920
You're welcome, Kitten.

365
00:29:13,159 --> 00:29:16,799
I'll be off to the hotel then,  
Kitten. Meow.

366
00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:21,240
I'd stay the night but the boys...

367
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,320
The boys might get the wrong idea.

368
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:27,679
No, I've gotta go.  
No. Please don't go just yet.

369
00:29:27,679 --> 00:29:31,479
Oh, Kitten.  
I've gotta go, I really have.

370
00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:37,039
Billy. Billy.

371
00:29:42,759 --> 00:29:44,799
Bobby Goldsboro.

372
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,479
Used to help me get to sleep.

373
00:29:48,479 --> 00:29:50,679
But his wife dies...

374
00:29:50,679 --> 00:29:53,880
You see,
she dies when he's away from home.

375
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:58,439
Oh, Kitten. I've gotta go now.

376
00:29:58,439 --> 00:30:00,960
Billy...
I really have.

377
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,200
If...
Huh?

378
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,560
If you were away with the band
and you came home

379
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:13,280
and you found me lying there...
like Bobby's wife...

380
00:30:17,439 --> 00:30:20,399
What about it? Huh?

381
00:30:20,399 --> 00:30:24,200
..would you take me to the hospital?
Of course I would.

382
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:28,799
Of course I would, Kitten.  
Oh, I wish that could happen.

383
00:30:28,799 --> 00:30:33,079
I've see it all, man. I tell you,  
I've fucking well seen it all.

384
00:30:33,079 --> 00:30:37,240
Where the fuck do you think he  
disappeared to in San Francisco?

385
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,679
I would even bring you flowers.

386
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,240
Roses?
Roses.

387
00:30:47,039 --> 00:30:49,240
Oh.

388
00:30:57,479 --> 00:31:00,679
For I ask you, Billy Bob,
in the nicest manner,

389
00:31:00,679 --> 00:31:02,960
what's an Indian band
without a squaw?

390
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,640
A squaw?

391
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,640
♪

392
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,920
♪ Young woman,  
share your fire with me

393
00:31:17,359 --> 00:31:22,200
♪ My heart is cold, my soul is free

394
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:28,719
♪ I am a stranger in your land

395
00:31:28,719 --> 00:31:30,679
♪ A wandering man

396
00:31:30,679 --> 00:31:33,759
♪ Call me Sandy

397
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:40,600
♪ Oh, sir, my fire is very small

398
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,479
♪ It will not warm thy heart, at all

399
00:31:50,359 --> 00:31:54,479
♪ But thee may take me by the hand

400
00:31:54,479 --> 00:31:58,600
♪ Hold me and I'll call thee Sand

401
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,920
♪ Young woman,  
share your fire with me

402
00:32:08,439 --> 00:32:13,479
♪ My heart is cold,  
my soul is free

403
00:32:16,039 --> 00:32:19,840
♪ I am a stranger in your land... ♪

404
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,159
Name, please.  
Paddy Kitten. What's yours?

405
00:32:28,159 --> 00:32:30,640
I can tell you're a Paddy, alright.

406
00:32:38,399 --> 00:32:41,240
What about Geronimo?  
What would I know?

407
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,240
I'm just a Mick.  
13 of your lot shot in Derry.

408
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,920
What do know about that? Maybe you 
know about 13 less to deal with.

409
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,920
Fuck off, mate.

410
00:32:55,399 --> 00:32:57,399
Fuck off!

411
00:33:02,679 --> 00:33:07,359
♪ Oh, sir, my fire is burning high

412
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:14,479
♪ If it should stop, sir, I would die

413
00:33:17,039 --> 00:33:21,039
♪ A shooting star has crossed my land

414
00:33:21,039 --> 00:33:23,079
♪ Wandering man... ♪

415
00:33:23,079 --> 00:33:25,079
Get off!

416
00:33:26,759 --> 00:33:30,439
Get off the fucking stage,  
you stupid bitch!

417
00:33:30,439 --> 00:33:32,439
Fuck off!

418
00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:45,000
Patrick, I... I-I-I don't know  
how to say this to you.

419
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,439
It's the boys, the boys in the band.

420
00:33:47,439 --> 00:33:50,359
They feel the squaw
just isn't working out.

421
00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:53,399
Oh. Could be they have a point.

422
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:56,000
Ah, they say it doesn't feel right.

423
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,159
I don't know.  
They've been with me so long and...

424
00:33:59,159 --> 00:34:01,719
I'm sorry.

425
00:34:01,719 --> 00:34:04,520
But I have a little proposal.  
Oh!

426
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,960
A ring, perhaps?
Oh, Patrick, Patrick. Sh.

427
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,799
Sh. I told you not to call me that.

428
00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:14,079
I'm sorry, Kitten.

429
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,239
Don't be silly.

430
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:25,520
Would you bring me sweeties, too?
You know I would.

431
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,520
Oh, for the love of Jesus!

432
00:34:31,759 --> 00:34:33,640
♪ "Me And Mrs Jones" - Billy Paul

433
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:41,000
♪ Me and Mrs Jones

434
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:46,880
♪ We've got a thing going on...

435
00:34:49,359 --> 00:34:52,039
It was my mother's.  
She left it to me in her will.

436
00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:56,479
Nobody stays here and I need  
somebody to look after it, Kitten.

437
00:34:56,479 --> 00:35:00,239
What do you reckon?  
Oh, house of dreams and longing!

438
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:04,119
I wouldn't exactly call it that,  
but so what do you think?

439
00:35:11,479 --> 00:35:14,880
Oh, to have a house, to own a house!

440
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:20,039
Ooh! So, Kitten, can I come  
and visit you every now and again?

441
00:35:20,039 --> 00:35:24,560
Of course you can, you great big
silly Bobby Goldsboro.

442
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,039
You don't even have to ask.

443
00:35:31,159 --> 00:35:37,399
♪ Me and Mrs Jones

444
00:35:37,399 --> 00:35:40,880
♪ Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones

445
00:35:42,439 --> 00:35:49,000
♪ We've got a thing going on

446
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,039
♪ We both know that it's wrong

447
00:35:57,039 --> 00:36:00,000
♪ But it's much too strong

448
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:04,359
♪ To let it go now...

449
00:36:04,359 --> 00:36:07,079
Goodness gracious! Ikie-okie me.

450
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:13,399
♪ We gotta be extra careful

451
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:20,399
♪ That we don't build
our hopes up too high

452
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:28,280
♪ But she's got
her own obligations...♪

453
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,679
Huh?  
What?

454
00:36:32,679 --> 00:36:36,000
What's with Diana Ross?  
Leave him be. He knows nothing.

455
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,560
Keep it that way.  
No problem.

456
00:36:48,399 --> 00:36:51,799
♪ "Fuck The British Army" -
Paddy's Irish Clan

457
00:37:04,119 --> 00:37:08,079
If I volunteer, Irwin,
could I have pink glasses, please?

458
00:37:08,079 --> 00:37:13,159
Can't you take anything serious?  
Oh, serious, serious, serious.

459
00:37:13,159 --> 00:37:16,679
You might have to soon enough.

460
00:37:16,679 --> 00:37:20,560
So fucking what, Charlie?!  
I sell a few fucking papers!

461
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,600
Big deal! What are you, my fucking 
wife?! I don't believe your stories.

462
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,640
I'm involved in nothing!  
I sell their paper!

463
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,920
For all the difference it makes.  
Nobody gives a fuck! Soon they will.

464
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,880
If I find out you're lying  
I'll finish with you, I swear!

465
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,439
Then finish it with me!  
See if I fucking care!

466
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,119
Come on, get off the road.

467
00:37:48,119 --> 00:37:50,640
Stay back.

468
00:37:54,520 --> 00:38:00,200
Keep off the street! I want everyone
to move away from the red van!

469
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:04,439
It may be booby-trapped!  
Come on, folks!

470
00:38:04,439 --> 00:38:08,039
Gently.  
Please move back!

471
00:38:08,039 --> 00:38:11,719
Now, let the army through.  
Get back now, get back.

472
00:38:14,119 --> 00:38:18,119
Move back and clear the area!  
Get away now! Get back now!

473
00:38:18,119 --> 00:38:21,880
Get off the street now! Move! Move! 
Clear this area for your own safety.

474
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,920
Ah, the Dalek!

475
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,359
No!  
NO!

476
00:38:27,359 --> 00:38:29,359
Exterminate, exterminate!

477
00:38:29,359 --> 00:38:31,719
Exterminate, exterminate!

478
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,799
Dust thou art  
and unto dust thou shalt return

479
00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:05,600
until the Lord raises you up  
on the last day.

480
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,799
Let us pray for our brother,  
Laurence, to Jesus Christ,

481
00:39:09,799 --> 00:39:13,000
who said, "I am the resurrection  
and the life."

482
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,280
"The man who believes in me  
will live even if he dies."

483
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,600
Our Father, who art in heaven,  
hallowed be thy name,

484
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:26,320
thy kingdom come, thy will be done 
on earth as it is in heaven.

485
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,320
Give us this day, our daily bread...

486
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:02,840
Serious, serious.... Time for
some serious spring cleaning.

487
00:40:09,119 --> 00:40:13,039
Don't you know what this means? Do
you know what these guys are like?

488
00:40:13,039 --> 00:40:16,679
Don't let this come between us,
Billy. SHUT UP!

489
00:40:19,159 --> 00:40:21,920
Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do?

490
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,000
Fucking Jesus! Tell them
I was spring cleaning, darling.

491
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,560
Where are they?!  
Tell me! Where are they?!

492
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:34,239
What is this you mean, my darling?
You fucking whore! Where are they?!

493
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,560
The guns.  
It's all too fucking serious!

494
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:41,759
All of a sudden, everyone's being
serious. Serious, serious, serious.

495
00:40:41,759 --> 00:40:46,079
I'm not fucking joking, Patrick!  
Where are they?! Call me Kitten!

496
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,960
You don't fucking know me.  
You don't know where I've gone.

497
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:03,920
And if they fucking come,  
you tell them nothing.

498
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,799
Whatever you say, darling. You're  
way out of your league, Patrick.

499
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:10,840
You don't know  
what you're dealing with.

500
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:15,000
Oh, I do. I know, alright.
I know you're only joking

501
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,640
about the roses
and the sweets too, probably.

502
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,920
But it was nice while it lasted.

503
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:32,280
♪ And it won't even show

504
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,079
♪ And no-one will know

505
00:41:36,079 --> 00:41:40,840
♪ One little wave

506
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,239
♪ To say you'll behave ♪

507
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:48,840
Are you happy now? Are you happy  
now you've got what you wanted,

508
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,799
now that they've bombed down here? 
Are your Republican friends

509
00:41:52,799 --> 00:41:55,960
good and happy now they can see  
what they've done?

510
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,479
What the fuck are you talking about?

511
00:41:58,479 --> 00:42:01,000
It had nothing  
to do with Republicans.

512
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,159
What the fuck would they  
bomb a southern town for, huh?

513
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,600
Can you hear me, Charlie?  
If you want out, just say so.

514
00:42:33,359 --> 00:42:37,399
Open the door!

515
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,560
I can't. Go away. Come back
in the morning. Open it, bitch!

516
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,439
Open the fucking door!
OK, OK, OK.

517
00:43:05,079 --> 00:43:07,439
Where did he put them?!  
I don't understand.

518
00:43:07,439 --> 00:43:10,479
The guns!  
Where did he put the guns?!

519
00:43:10,479 --> 00:43:15,799
Oh, yes, the guns. Oh, he buried
them outside just to be safe. Go!

520
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,960
There's no fucking guns down here!

521
00:43:23,079 --> 00:43:27,119
Oh, I think they might just be...
He's taking the lend out of us!

522
00:43:27,119 --> 00:43:30,000
I'll lead him!  
I swear to God, I'll lead him!

523
00:43:32,159 --> 00:43:36,079
Say goodbye to my friends, will you?
Charlie lives in Sunbeam Heights

524
00:43:36,079 --> 00:43:39,159
and Irwin's up the Banks. Irwin who? 
Irwin Kerr.

525
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:42,039
How do you know Irwin Kerr?

526
00:43:42,039 --> 00:43:44,520
Oh, nothing. Never mind.
Come on, then.

527
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:48,320
I've nothing left to live for
in this stupid serious world.

528
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:52,000
Oh, fuck him! He's not worth  
a bullet, the mental nancy boy.

529
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,880
What is it with nancy boys,
you can't be bothered killing them?

530
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,239
I'm fucking warning you!  
Are you on dope or what?

531
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,640
I wish that I was, Mr Killing Man.
Why, do you have any?

532
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,119
You're out of your league, sunshine.

533
00:44:05,119 --> 00:44:07,439
Out of your league...

534
00:44:07,439 --> 00:44:10,399
You're in over your head.
For heaven's sake!

535
00:44:10,399 --> 00:44:14,439
Surely you've one bullet to spare
between youse! Ah, bollocks!

536
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,079
Where are we going?  
You hit us, we hit you.

537
00:44:25,079 --> 00:44:27,079
It's simple.  
Right.

538
00:44:27,079 --> 00:44:29,840
The bomb was made here  
and driven across the border.

539
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,320
Bobbie Anderson  
likes killing Catholics.

540
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,079
It'll be the last bomb he'll make. 
Lights off. Keep it running.

541
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,200
Oh, Lord.

542
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,960
Get us the fuck out of here,  
will ya?!

543
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,840
What's the smell?  
He's wet himself!

544
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,320
He's not toilet trained?

545
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,840
Who do you think you are?  
What the fuck do you think this is?!

546
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:43,119
Tell me you're not serious. There's
that word again. It's everywhere.

547
00:45:43,119 --> 00:45:48,079
But you don't know a soul in London.
There's only one soul I need.

548
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:56,079
You really think you'll find her?  
How many Eily Bergins can there be?

549
00:45:56,079 --> 00:46:01,239
Maybe she's changed her name. She
won't have changed her eyes, Irwin.

550
00:46:03,799 --> 00:46:06,320
How will you get by?

551
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,880
Saint Caellainn will guide me.

552
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:19,000
♪ Have you ever watched a moonbeam

553
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:24,560
♪ As it slid across your window pane?

554
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,159
♪ Or struggled with a bit of rain

555
00:46:29,159 --> 00:46:32,119
♪ Or danced about the weather vane

556
00:46:32,119 --> 00:46:35,840
♪ Or sat along a moving train

557
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:39,000
♪ And wondered
where the train has been

558
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,920
♪ Or on a fence

559
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,799
♪ With bits of crap around its bottom

560
00:46:45,799 --> 00:46:51,840
♪ Blown there by a wind beam

561
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:57,200
♪ Who searches for the moonbeam

562
00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:59,679
♪ Who was last seen

563
00:46:59,679 --> 00:47:05,359
♪ Looking at the tracks
of the careless wind beam

564
00:47:05,359 --> 00:47:12,200
♪ Moving to the tracks
of the tireless freight train... ♪

565
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,920
You come to the city
that never sleeps

566
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,920
and you think it's open all the time
but it does sleep. Excuse me?

567
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:22,200
Of course it does.
I'm looking for my mother, please.

568
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,399
Eily Bergin.

569
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,880
Just got two Bergins for 1956.

570
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,280
Bergin, Ellen, and Bergin  
with a simple initial E.

571
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:37,520
Then, it has to be one of them.
One's from Aldgate

572
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,560
and the other's from east London.

573
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,079
Will you be going back home  
after you're found her? Of course.

574
00:47:46,079 --> 00:47:51,640
Maybe she'll come with me. Er, son, 
will you promise me something?

575
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:55,640
Yes.
Take care of yourself.

576
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,239
Oh, I will, Mrs Anderson. Thank you.

577
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:03,079
♪ "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" -
Middle Of The Road

578
00:48:03,079 --> 00:48:07,239
♪ Where's your momma gone?
♪ Where's your momma gone?

579
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,799
♪ Little baby gone
♪ Little baby gone

580
00:48:10,799 --> 00:48:14,600
♪ Where's your momma gone?
♪ Where's your momma gone?

581
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,359
♪ Far, far away

582
00:48:18,359 --> 00:48:21,880
♪ Where's your papa gone?
♪ Where's your papa gone?

583
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:25,520
♪ Little baby gone
♪ Little baby gone...

584
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:30,159
Nah, mate. They knocked  
those houses down years ago.

585
00:48:32,359 --> 00:48:38,119
♪ Far, far away

586
00:48:38,119 --> 00:48:41,759
♪ Last night I heard my momma
singing this song

587
00:48:41,759 --> 00:48:45,159
♪ Ooh wee chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

588
00:48:45,159 --> 00:48:48,640
♪ Woke up this morning
and my momma was gone

589
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:52,000
♪ Ooh wee chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

590
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,520
♪ Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep chirp

591
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,200
♪ Where's your momma gone?
♪ Where's your momma gone?

592
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,960
♪ Little baby gone
♪ Little baby gone

593
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:06,439
♪ Where's your momma gone?
♪ Where's your momma gone?

594
00:49:06,439 --> 00:49:10,079
♪ Far, far away

595
00:49:10,079 --> 00:49:13,640
♪ Where's your papa gone?
♪ Where's your papa gone?

596
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,079
♪ Little baby gone
♪ Little baby gone ♪

597
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:21,600
Um...

598
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,320
There's a man inside!

599
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,000
About time, too.

600
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,920
Ahem! Are you here for the job, kid?

601
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,159
What-What job?
Oh, this is showbiz, kid!

602
00:50:40,159 --> 00:50:44,520
Try that with Stevenson and you've 
no fucking chance! Who's Stevenson?

603
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:48,399
He thinks he's in charge.
RAF bollocks! You're Irish. You are.

604
00:50:48,399 --> 00:50:52,719
Out of Tyreelin, County Cavan.
Well, then, County Cavan,

605
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:57,479
give us the song  
and you're home and dry.

606
00:50:57,479 --> 00:51:00,039
♪ Underground, over ground  
Wombling free

607
00:51:00,039 --> 00:51:02,679
♪ The Wombles
of Wimbledon Common are we ♪

608
00:51:02,679 --> 00:51:07,439
Come on. You have it. Now,  
the dance. OK? OK. I'm going in.

609
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:12,159
Right. Hop, one.  
Hop, two. Hop, one, two, three.

610
00:51:12,159 --> 00:51:15,479
Tish, tish, tish.  
Flap, flap, flap. OK?

611
00:51:15,479 --> 00:51:19,840
Go on. Hop, one.  
Hop, two. Hop, one, two, three.

612
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,960
Tush, tush, tush.
Flap, flap, flap. Are you ready?

613
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,799
Hop, one. Hop, two.
For fuck's sake, hop right!

614
00:51:25,799 --> 00:51:30,239
Hop, one, two, three.  Hop,
one. Hop, two. Hop, one, two, three.

615
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:33,880
Tush, tush, tush. Flap it out.

616
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:36,359
Sell it to me.

617
00:51:36,359 --> 00:51:40,840
♪ Over ground, underground
Wombling free

618
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,439
♪ The Wombles of Wimbledon... ♪

619
00:51:43,439 --> 00:51:46,119
Give him the drill, Bulgaria.

620
00:51:46,119 --> 00:51:49,679
Enough already. You take  
the croquet. Capiche? Capiche.

621
00:51:49,679 --> 00:51:51,960
Every morning, nine o'clock.  
Be there.

622
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,439
Bulgaria!  
These are your responsibility.

623
00:52:08,439 --> 00:52:10,679
You're Head Womble here.

624
00:52:10,679 --> 00:52:13,119
Fuck!
Oh! Argh!

625
00:52:13,119 --> 00:52:16,520
I'll give you RAF!  
I broke no fucking mallet!

626
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,719
I broke no fucking mallet!  
Put that down!

627
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:21,719
Uncle Bulgaria!

628
00:52:26,479 --> 00:52:29,119
♪

629
00:52:29,119 --> 00:52:33,960
"You broke the mallet," he says.  
I broke no fucking mallet.

630
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:37,119
RAF bollocks!  
That's the end of the line!

631
00:52:37,119 --> 00:52:39,560
That's enough of that, John Joe.

632
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:43,359
Fuck off, motherfucker! You don't  
know what you're dealing with here!

633
00:52:43,359 --> 00:52:47,359
Wanna know what they used to say?  
"He's out where buses don't run!"

634
00:52:47,359 --> 00:52:51,600
You're out of your league here,  
friend! No, not that again.

635
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:56,119
Show them where you stand. If they 
fuck with you, you fuck with them.

636
00:52:56,119 --> 00:52:58,399
You fuck them so bad  
you make them wish

637
00:52:58,399 --> 00:53:01,560
they'd never been born. Another  
shot? I'll have a Babycham.

638
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,560
You got it, kemosabe.

639
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:08,759
Tommy, one Babycham, one Powers.  
Please.

640
00:53:08,759 --> 00:53:11,920
Two weeks's severance.  
Fuck with John Joe Kenny,

641
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:14,359
that's one time  
you've fucked too many.

642
00:53:14,359 --> 00:53:16,359
He's from Cavan.

643
00:53:16,359 --> 00:53:20,119
So, where's Cavan?  
Next to Monaghan.

644
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,439
I'm going for a Womble. If you want 
to come, give us a shout, right?

645
00:53:25,439 --> 00:53:28,840
♪ Underground, over ground
Wombling free

646
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,320
♪ The Wombles of Wimbledon Common
are we ♪

647
00:53:35,119 --> 00:53:37,520
I was a Womble, do you know that?

648
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:45,320
Hey, you can't sleep here, love.  
Have you got a home to go to?

649
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,239
You can get a cab outside.

650
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:54,520
Oh, I do believe I have a small
elfin dwelling on Wimbledon Common.

651
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:08,719
Oi! If you're doing business,  
do it somewhere else, love.

652
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:12,719
This pavement's got my name on it. 
What, pray, is your name? Concrete?

653
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,120
My name is scratch your eyes out,  
bite your nose off,

654
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:20,239
which is what I'll do  
if you don't get off my patch!

655
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:23,440
Alright, lover?  
Is she giving you trouble, son?

656
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:26,400
No trouble.
We were just exchanging names.

657
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,800
Go on, you fucking nancy boy!

658
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,518
Don't fucking come back!

659
00:54:33,518 --> 00:54:37,080
Her name is Scratch Your Eyes Out
And Bite Your Bleedin' Nose Off.

660
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:40,040
And my name is
Patricia Kitten Braden.

661
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,639
Pleased to meet you,  
Patricia Kitten Braden.

662
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:48,040
Just what were you doing back there?
I was looking for the Phantom Lady.

663
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,719
You've found the right street, then.
Why, what's it called?

664
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,680
Phantom Lady Street?
You could call it that.

665
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:58,639
And just who is this phantom lady? 
Well, it's my mother, really.

666
00:54:58,639 --> 00:55:01,279
I call her that
to pretend it's a story

667
00:55:01,279 --> 00:55:04,840
that's happening to someone else.
Why do you pretend that?

668
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:07,599
Because otherwise
I might cry and never stop.

669
00:55:07,599 --> 00:55:10,639
If you cried, I'd make you stop.

670
00:55:10,639 --> 00:55:14,919
Oh, you would?
Oh, how kind, good sir.

671
00:55:14,919 --> 00:55:18,760
Yes, I'd definitely make you stop.

672
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,998
And just what is it you do, then?  
Oh, this and that.

673
00:55:25,998 --> 00:55:28,160
Showbiz, kind of. Singing.

674
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,840
What do you like to sing about?

675
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,319
I sing about true love.

676
00:55:33,319 --> 00:55:35,319
That's nice.

677
00:55:35,319 --> 00:55:37,480
Have you ever found it?

678
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,360
Hmm. I thought I had... once.

679
00:55:43,639 --> 00:55:45,959
Here's one about true love.

680
00:55:45,959 --> 00:55:49,319
♪ "Feelings" - Albert Morris

681
00:55:49,319 --> 00:55:54,440
Ever heard this one?  
Nice, isn't it?

682
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,440
I just love love songs.

683
00:56:00,959 --> 00:56:03,360
Take it off.

684
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,719
Don't you like it?
Take it off, there's a good lad.

685
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:11,959
As you wish, sir.

686
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,998
Now, isn't that more comfortable?  
Yes, sir.

687
00:56:22,919 --> 00:56:26,120
Of course it is,  
my love-loving friend.

688
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:31,120
Here. Feel that.

689
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,319
Mmm...

690
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:38,279
Good old-fashioned silk.

691
00:56:38,279 --> 00:56:40,279
Thank you.

692
00:56:48,559 --> 00:56:50,599
It's beautiful.

693
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,120
You like it?  
It's beautiful.

694
00:56:56,639 --> 00:56:58,840
Lie here!

695
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:00,879
Argh!

696
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,760
Argh!

697
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:12,440
'But did true love save Kitten
from the hands of the beast

698
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,279
in the worst of all fairy tales? No.'

699
00:57:15,279 --> 00:57:20,040
Argh! 'What saved Kitten
was her precious perfume spray

700
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,919
bought for 2.99 in Roches Stores
on Henry Street

701
00:57:23,919 --> 00:57:26,800
before she left
her beloved Emerald Isle.'

702
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,040
Hello.

703
00:57:39,519 --> 00:57:44,639
I'm sorry to interrupt,  
but are you alright, Miss?

704
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:49,120
Yes, fine, thank you.

705
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:52,360
Just tired after my hard day's work.

706
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,080
You've been sitting there
for four hours now.

707
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,199
Just busy at my desk.

708
00:58:01,199 --> 00:58:04,199
Is it your desk?

709
00:58:04,199 --> 00:58:06,239
Mmm-hmm.

710
00:58:06,239 --> 00:58:09,080
Writing my little book.

711
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:12,360
Your little book?

712
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,080
What type of book?

713
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:23,519
It's, um...
It's a... mystery thriller, sir,

714
00:58:23,519 --> 00:58:26,919
about a woman who disappears.

715
00:58:26,919 --> 00:58:29,840
May I ask what it's called?

716
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:33,680
Yes.

717
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:37,919
It's called...
Footprints In The Custard.

718
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,519
Hmm.

719
00:58:41,519 --> 00:58:43,720
No, I'm joking.
It doesn't have a name

720
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,199
because I don't know
what's gonna happen,

721
00:58:46,199 --> 00:58:48,720
if the mystery's ever solved.

722
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:54,440
But the lady has a name.  
Mmm-hmm. The Phantom Lady.

723
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,160
Phantom Lady.

724
00:58:59,599 --> 00:59:02,840
Her real name is Eily Bergin.
She was my mother.

725
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,919
Your mother? Then she went away
to the city of all cities

726
00:59:06,919 --> 00:59:09,519
that never sleeps
from dusk till dawn.

727
00:59:09,519 --> 00:59:13,440
So, you think she's here in London? 
No, I know she's here in London.

728
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:18,639
Fantastic!  
The fantastic tale of Eily Bergin.

729
00:59:18,639 --> 00:59:23,279
I can't wait to hear the end of it. 
But you haven't heard the start.

730
00:59:23,279 --> 00:59:25,760
I can't wait to hear that, either.

731
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,279
So, are you a writer too, then, sir?
Oh, good Lord, no.

732
00:59:33,239 --> 00:59:37,440
Something similar maybe.  
"Something similar."

733
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,959
I wonder what that could be.

734
00:59:43,519 --> 00:59:47,360
Ooh! Oh! You're a magician!

735
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,639
Bertie Vaughan at your service.

736
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,360
Now, the first thing that has
to be said, Bertie dearest,

737
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,919
is that you bear no resemblance
to Marlon Margarine Brando.

738
01:00:00,919 --> 01:00:04,720
We all have our off days.

739
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,279
So, tell me more  
about the Phantom Lady.

740
01:00:07,279 --> 01:00:11,760
Why? What's in it for me?
I'll take you to see my show.

741
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:14,680
Oh, it's a deal, Magic!

742
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,080
So, where were we?

743
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,440
Oh, yes! The Phantom Lady.

744
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:21,840
Eily Bergin had just arrived
in Dublin

745
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:26,279
and had just realised that her boat
didn't sail for another four hours.

746
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,919
Lo and behold, not a scratch.  
Thank you, my dear.

747
01:00:42,199 --> 01:00:44,199
Pick a card.

748
01:00:44,199 --> 01:00:47,239
Anyone? Come along, madam.  
Pick a card.

749
01:00:47,239 --> 01:00:49,360
Any card.

750
01:00:53,999 --> 01:00:56,840
Oh, my God!  
Ooh, blimey!

751
01:00:56,840 --> 01:01:00,160
"Oh, my God", is right.  
I do believe you've chosen

752
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,279
the 101 of hearts!

753
01:01:02,279 --> 01:01:05,360
Thank you, my dear.  
I'll take care of that.

754
01:01:07,879 --> 01:01:10,480
Time, of course. The time.

755
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:14,959
Looks like it's up,  
you lovely people.

756
01:01:14,959 --> 01:01:18,400
Come on. Help me, please, my loves.

757
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:24,239
Anyone out there willing  
to encounter the Great Watch?

758
01:01:29,639 --> 01:01:35,599
Hello, young lady. What's the story 
behind those beautiful blue eyes?

759
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:43,800
What's your name, young lady?  
Patricia Kitten Braden.

760
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:47,199
And where are you from, my dear?  
Ireland.

761
01:01:47,199 --> 01:01:50,680
Keep your eye on the watch,  
young Patricia.

762
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:54,760
The whole world is in there.

763
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,480
Tick-tock.

764
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:01,720
Swing-swong.

765
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:06,879
And, dare I say it,... ding-dong.

766
01:02:08,559 --> 01:02:11,639
And let the Great Watch guide you.

767
01:02:23,919 --> 01:02:26,959
And what brings you  
to our great metropolis?

768
01:02:26,959 --> 01:02:29,400
I'm looking for my mammy.

769
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,760
Oh. Where did mummy go?

770
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:35,120
The city swallowed her up.

771
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,199
Oh, fancy that!

772
01:02:37,199 --> 01:02:39,760
Well, it will do that to people.

773
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:43,959
But you know what, Patricia,

774
01:02:43,959 --> 01:02:47,199
I think I see your mother.  
Where?

775
01:02:47,199 --> 01:02:50,120
Why, down there  
by that table by the jukebox.

776
01:02:51,279 --> 01:02:54,040
Mammy!

777
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,239
On second thoughts, Patricia,

778
01:02:58,239 --> 01:03:01,239
she's not your mother,  
she's your great aunt, Ida.

779
01:03:01,239 --> 01:03:03,999
That's your mother over there!

780
01:03:07,239 --> 01:03:09,239
Mammy!

781
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:17,440
Actually, Patricia, that's  
your second cousin, Ronnie,

782
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,999
just out of the Scrubs.

783
01:03:19,999 --> 01:03:24,720
In fact, your mummy's right up here.

784
01:03:26,919 --> 01:03:29,319
Up here on stage.

785
01:03:29,319 --> 01:03:31,559
Come to Mummy.

786
01:03:31,559 --> 01:03:33,919
Come to Mummy.

787
01:03:33,919 --> 01:03:36,080
Come to Mummy.

788
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:39,080
Come to Mummy.

789
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:42,360
Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy!

790
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,519
Oh, good to have you back, darling.

791
01:03:46,519 --> 01:03:50,760
And Mummy's never leaving again.  
Never.

792
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:54,919
Never.
Never. I promise. Never.

793
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:17,400
You know old Saw Bones!

794
01:04:20,239 --> 01:04:22,319
Ooh! Ooh!

795
01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:27,440
Are you alright, dear?

796
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,080
Oh, yes!

797
01:04:40,519 --> 01:04:47,360
Those of a nervous disposition  
should now close their eyes.

798
01:04:51,239 --> 01:04:53,160
Oh, dear.

799
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:05,959
Are you alright, Kitten? Oh, no.
I'm actually quite heartbroken.

800
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,720
I think I see the problem. Ooh!

801
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:32,720
Ooh-ooh-ooooh!

802
01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:41,160
Gee, thanks, cupid.

803
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:56,040
And the other thing about
the Phantom Lady, she realised

804
01:05:56,040 --> 01:06:00,400
in the city that never sleeps...
What did she realise, Kitten?

805
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:04,720
That all the songs that she'd
listened to, all the love songs,

806
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,319
well, they were only songs.

807
01:06:07,319 --> 01:06:10,999
What's wrong with that? Nothing
if you don't believe in them.

808
01:06:10,999 --> 01:06:16,120
But she did, you see.
She believed in enchanted evenings

809
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:20,080
and she believed
that a small cloud past overhead

810
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:23,199
and cried down on her flower bed.

811
01:06:23,199 --> 01:06:27,959
And she even believed
there was breakfast... Where?

812
01:06:27,959 --> 01:06:30,360
On Pluto.

813
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:34,559
The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.

814
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:40,999
You know, Kitten, I made  
a decision a long time ago.

815
01:06:40,999 --> 01:06:43,519
What decision was that?

816
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:48,879
That I wasn't destined for  
the sentimental side of things.

817
01:06:48,879 --> 01:06:55,639
But-But if I did let myself  
ever fall for someone,...

818
01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:59,480
..I think it would be  
a girl like you.

819
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:02,319
Please stop.
There's something you should know.

820
01:07:02,319 --> 01:07:07,639
Or maybe what I should say is,  
it would be a girl.

821
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,919
Not a million miles away from...  
Ooh, please don't.

822
01:07:12,919 --> 01:07:14,919
..where I'm standing.

823
01:07:20,559 --> 01:07:22,800
What's the matter, princess?

824
01:07:24,599 --> 01:07:26,879
Well, you see, the thing is,
Bertie,...

825
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:30,919
..I'm not...
Yes?

826
01:07:30,919 --> 01:07:32,919
Um...

827
01:07:32,919 --> 01:07:35,360
I'm not a girl.

828
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:38,120
Oh, I knew that, princess.

829
01:07:39,519 --> 01:07:41,879
You did?
Of course.

830
01:07:41,879 --> 01:07:47,400
What I said was,...  
it would be a girl like you.

831
01:07:56,319 --> 01:07:59,040
I do believe  
that I see Mummy over there!

832
01:08:01,919 --> 01:08:03,919
Mummy!

833
01:08:06,959 --> 01:08:10,360
Actually, she's just walked in.

834
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:12,360
There!

835
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:16,720
Mummy, Mummy!

836
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:20,400
Bastards!  
Think you can make fun of her?!

837
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:23,760
You're coming with me.

838
01:08:26,959 --> 01:08:30,279
Wait! Please don't leave me!

839
01:08:31,439 --> 01:08:33,760
What about the Prince of Magic?

840
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:37,080
Please don't go!  
Some fucking Prince of Magic!

841
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:41,120
He doesn't mean that, Charlie.
For Christ's sake, Paddy!

842
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:44,519
What is happening to you?!  
Kitten!

843
01:08:56,279 --> 01:08:58,198
♪ Let it all hang out

844
01:08:58,198 --> 01:09:02,879
♪ But you won't fool
the children of the revolution

845
01:09:02,879 --> 01:09:08,160
♪ No, you won't fool
the children of the revolution...

846
01:09:10,198 --> 01:09:12,198
Excuse me.

847
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:21,198
John Joe! John Joe! Whoo!

848
01:09:21,198 --> 01:09:23,400
John Joe!

849
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:27,840
Not a Womble any more? Do not  
talk to me about fucking Wombles!

850
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:31,439
I'm in the Tower of London now! Eh?

851
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:35,160
30 smackers in the prison,  
no questions asked.

852
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:39,720
We're looking for a Mary Queen  
of Scots. Chop my head off, surely!

853
01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:43,879
And here's the man to do it for you.
Huh?

854
01:09:43,879 --> 01:09:46,279
Smiley, huh?

855
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,680
♪

856
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:28,720
Where's Irwin gone?
Ah, him and his fucking revolution!

857
01:10:41,479 --> 01:10:44,599
How did you carry it?  
Brought it in my sleeping bag.

858
01:10:46,319 --> 01:10:50,080
Won't be much sleeping  
with this baby.

859
01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:52,559
So, you haven't seen her, then?

860
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:57,400
She's here, though, somewhere.
I just know it, Charlie.

861
01:10:57,400 --> 01:10:59,800
Big fucking city.

862
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:03,720
I'm losing Irwin, you know.

863
01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:05,720
How?

864
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:07,999
He's up to something.

865
01:11:07,999 --> 01:11:09,999
I know it.

866
01:11:09,999 --> 01:11:12,720
He's got these secrets.

867
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:18,479
So, why did you come over, Charlie?
It wasn't just to see me.

868
01:11:18,479 --> 01:11:21,198
Was it something to do with Irwin?

869
01:11:23,919 --> 01:11:26,040
You might say that.

870
01:11:29,279 --> 01:11:31,279
I'm pregnant.

871
01:11:34,879 --> 01:11:36,919
Oh, Jesus! Charlie!

872
01:11:36,919 --> 01:11:38,919
Does he know?

873
01:11:41,238 --> 01:11:43,720
You know all he knows about

874
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:45,720
or cares.

875
01:11:54,198 --> 01:11:57,198
But you didn't come here
to have the baby?

876
01:11:59,439 --> 01:12:01,800
I came here to get rid of it.

877
01:12:08,760 --> 01:12:11,279
You have to tell him, Charlie.

878
01:12:11,279 --> 01:12:14,439
I can't. He's all fucked up -

879
01:12:17,959 --> 01:12:20,959
So, how are the homeless?

880
01:12:22,760 --> 01:12:24,879
The homeless are fine.

881
01:12:24,879 --> 01:12:28,879
That's what keeps him out late,  
Kitten, working with the homeless.

882
01:12:29,879 --> 01:12:31,879
Right, Irwin?

883
01:12:48,559 --> 01:12:51,559
I cannot have it, can I, Paddy?  
No.

884
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,760
No, you can't.

885
01:12:57,519 --> 01:13:01,040
Irwin's involved in shit I don't  
even think about. I know.

886
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:04,959
What would it turn out like, Paddy? 
You know what I mean, don't you?

887
01:13:04,959 --> 01:13:08,160
It would be an absolute disaster.

888
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:10,160
Like me.

889
01:13:12,198 --> 01:13:15,599
Now, I want you  
to read this leaflet.

890
01:13:15,599 --> 01:13:19,800
It outlines all aspects  
of the termination procedure.

891
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:23,639
Termination? You mean,  
this is an abortion clinic?

892
01:13:23,639 --> 01:13:26,120
Yes, of course it is.

893
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,800
Oh. I thought it was  
a fertility clinic.

894
01:13:35,439 --> 01:13:37,439
I think she's changed her mind.

895
01:13:46,959 --> 01:13:51,160
You said it would be a disaster  
like you. Worse probably.

896
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:55,198
But I love you,  
you fucking disaster.

897
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,959
Promise you won't get lost again.  
I promise.

898
01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:10,760
Tell him.

899
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:13,479
Tell me what?

900
01:14:13,479 --> 01:14:17,040
Charlie's joining the Sandonistas,
aren't you, Charlie?

901
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:19,959
Sandonistas?  
Mmm-hmm. They're a rock band.

902
01:14:19,959 --> 01:14:22,919
Aren't they, Charlie?
Where can I reach you?

903
01:14:24,479 --> 01:14:26,680
Try Cambridge Circus.

904
01:14:40,760 --> 01:14:42,760
See you, Paddy.

905
01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:25,640
♪

906
01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:34,198
You and me, darling. What do you  
say? I don't quite know what to say.

907
01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:40,238
Christ, you're a bloke!  
Ten out of ten, Sherlock.

908
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:03,479
You fancy a drink or something?

909
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:07,360
Campari and soda, if you don't mind.

910
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:10,760
Of course I don't.  
I wouldn't have asked you otherwise.

911
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:14,040
Campari and soda, please, mate.

912
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,360
Cheers.

913
01:16:28,279 --> 01:16:30,279
Thank you.

914
01:16:31,640 --> 01:16:36,159
Crowded tonight.  
Oh, yes. Football supporters?

915
01:16:36,159 --> 01:16:38,400
No, Royal Engineers.

916
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:40,400
Oh. Soldiers.

917
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:42,919
Just come back from a tour of duty.

918
01:16:42,919 --> 01:16:45,439
Aden, Cyprus... No, let me guess...

919
01:16:45,439 --> 01:16:47,439
Fucking Ulster.

920
01:16:47,439 --> 01:16:50,599
I haven't got anything  
against the Irish, though, mind.

921
01:16:50,599 --> 01:16:53,439
I hear they're very friendly.
I don't know.

922
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:55,439
Maybe.

923
01:16:55,439 --> 01:16:58,680
It's the politicians
what fuck it up, though, innit?

924
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:05,479
Do you wanna dance?

925
01:17:06,720 --> 01:17:08,720
Yes, I'd love to.

926
01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:19,040
♪ "Honey" - Bobby Goldsboro

927
01:17:22,439 --> 01:17:26,360
You're OK?  
Oh, yes. Yes, I'm fine.

928
01:17:26,360 --> 01:17:28,959
You seem a little bit tense.

929
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:34,360
Um, would you do something for me?

930
01:17:35,519 --> 01:17:37,519
Yeah, of course.

931
01:17:39,839 --> 01:17:42,680
Would you pretend your name's Bobby?

932
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:44,680
Bobby who?

933
01:17:46,238 --> 01:17:48,238
Bobby Goldsboro.

934
01:17:49,238 --> 01:17:51,680
It's his song, you see?

935
01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:54,559
Bobby it is, then.

936
01:17:56,159 --> 01:17:59,919
What you have to do is
plant a little tree,

937
01:17:59,919 --> 01:18:02,839
surprise me with a puppy,

938
01:18:02,839 --> 01:18:06,040
a little hug at night.

939
01:18:54,198 --> 01:18:59,559
Back! Go to the back, lads!
Get as many men there as you can.

940
01:18:59,559 --> 01:19:02,559
Come on, love.  
I'm gonna get you out of here.

941
01:19:06,559 --> 01:19:08,559
That's it.

942
01:19:08,559 --> 01:19:11,959
As many people as we can get out  
through the door.

943
01:19:11,959 --> 01:19:15,000
You're alright, mate. We've got you.
My tights.

944
01:19:16,159 --> 01:19:19,839
My tights, they're ripped! You're  
alive. That's the main thing.

945
01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:24,400
You know what I'll have to do?
I'll have to get a new pair.

946
01:19:35,198 --> 01:19:38,760
I told you,
from my best side, darlings!

947
01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:46,320
Come on! Get out of the way, please!
Come on! Out of the way.

948
01:19:49,519 --> 01:19:52,720
Do the Christian thing.
Oh, do you you really have to?

949
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:07,360
How silly can you get,
putting an X across my willy?

950
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:12,238
Not so silly! It's 11 fucking people
blown to pieces!

951
01:20:12,238 --> 01:20:17,238
You twisted little cunt!  
Fucking bent Irish man!

952
01:20:17,238 --> 01:20:19,760
Argh! Argh! Argh!

953
01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:26,760
What do you call them, eh?  
I can't quite see where you are.

954
01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:31,080
I'm over here, you see.
Millions of miles apart.

955
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:34,919
Tell him what he wants to know!

956
01:20:34,919 --> 01:20:40,279
Oh... Everyone thinks it's cold up
here but it's actually quite warm.

957
01:20:40,279 --> 01:20:45,080
It's warm as toast on Pluto.
On Pluto.

958
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:50,599
Don't try the fucking blarney on us,
Paddy!

959
01:20:50,599 --> 01:20:53,720
We know that you planted  
the fucking bomb!

960
01:20:53,720 --> 01:20:56,040
But of course I did, my darlings.

961
01:20:56,040 --> 01:20:59,400
I've planted hundreds of them.
Have you now?

962
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:01,839
Well, plant this!  
Ugh!

963
01:21:06,080 --> 01:21:10,120
Hello, Officer. I'm over here.

964
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:13,640
Just take a left...

965
01:21:13,640 --> 01:21:15,720
Travel to Mars...

966
01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:18,680
Christ, I can't fucking stand this!

967
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:23,120
Listen, son, why don't you  
just make a statement?

968
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:27,839
A statement, Officer?
Why didn't you just say so?

969
01:21:27,839 --> 01:21:31,720
Attaboy. There's no point  
making it hard for all of us.

970
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:35,400
Of course not.
After all, we're all friends here.

971
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:47,159
Let's start with where you were  
on Thursday October 17th.

972
01:21:47,159 --> 01:21:52,720
I was in my little cell working
with my active service unit.

973
01:21:52,720 --> 01:21:56,839
But I was working undercover.
Undercover?

974
01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:05,320
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
Pen and paper, please.

975
01:22:08,479 --> 01:22:11,559
♪ I think it's time we stop, children
What's that sound?

976
01:22:11,559 --> 01:22:15,238
♪ Everybody look what's going down...

977
01:22:15,238 --> 01:22:19,120
'Patricia Kitten, AKA Deepthroat,

978
01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:21,720
had penetrated the deepest recesses

979
01:22:21,720 --> 01:22:23,919
of the Republican sphincter...

980
01:22:26,198 --> 01:22:29,198
..with her secret
anti-terrorist spray,

981
01:22:29,198 --> 01:22:33,320
named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's
lucky number.'

982
01:22:38,198 --> 01:22:41,479
'Oh, but Lord,
is she sick of that black!'

983
01:22:41,479 --> 01:22:46,000
'What is it with freedom
fighters' haute couture, anyway?'

984
01:23:00,559 --> 01:23:04,439
You've got fuse support,  
booster charge. You've got your -

985
01:23:09,080 --> 01:23:11,680
♪ Stop, hey, what's that sound?

986
01:23:11,680 --> 01:23:14,040
♪ Everybody look what's going down

987
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:16,198
♪ Stop, hey, what's that sound?

988
01:23:16,198 --> 01:23:18,680
♪ Everybody look what's going down

989
01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:21,040
♪ Stop now, what's that sound? ♪

990
01:23:23,439 --> 01:23:26,238
♪ "Honey" - Bobby Goldsboro

991
01:23:26,238 --> 01:23:29,000
♪ One day while I was not at home

992
01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:31,439
♪ While she was there and all alone

993
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:34,040
♪ The angels came

994
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:39,640
♪ Now all I have is memories of honey

995
01:23:39,640 --> 01:23:44,479
♪ And I wake at nights
and call her name... ♪

996
01:23:57,760 --> 01:24:01,320
Is there anyone here?
Why won't he just talk to us?

997
01:24:01,320 --> 01:24:04,479
Did he or didn't he dress  
as a woman and get caught

998
01:24:04,479 --> 01:24:08,000
by his own bomb? We've held him  
six days now, seven's the max.

999
01:24:18,238 --> 01:24:22,238
Paddy? Are you alright?

1000
01:24:23,238 --> 01:24:25,279
It's fine. It's really wonderful.

1001
01:24:25,279 --> 01:24:28,599
Meet us halfway, will you, Paddy?

1002
01:24:28,599 --> 01:24:32,959
Tell us why you came over here.  
I was just looking for someone.

1003
01:24:32,959 --> 01:24:36,559
I was looking for Eily Bergin.
Who's Eily Bergin, Paddy?

1004
01:24:36,559 --> 01:24:40,439
She's-She's gone undercover now.

1005
01:24:40,439 --> 01:24:43,519
The biggest city in the world
swallowed her up.

1006
01:24:43,519 --> 01:24:46,640
Could she help us  
with our inquiries, Paddy?

1007
01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:50,800
She could help me with mine. Do you 
want us to find her? Got an address?

1008
01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:55,360
You could try the house that
vanished. The house that vanished.

1009
01:24:56,680 --> 01:24:58,680
Oh, Christ!

1010
01:24:58,680 --> 01:25:01,000
I think we're all losing it!

1011
01:25:08,519 --> 01:25:12,198
We're gonna get some sleep now,  
Paddy. We'll get some sleep.

1012
01:25:12,198 --> 01:25:16,479
Look,... I think  
we may have made a mistake.

1013
01:25:17,599 --> 01:25:20,198
Officer?
What is it now?

1014
01:25:20,198 --> 01:25:24,919
If you came home from the office
and you found me lying on the floor

1015
01:25:24,919 --> 01:25:27,559
would you take me to hospital?

1016
01:25:27,559 --> 01:25:29,839
Of course I would.

1017
01:25:29,839 --> 01:25:32,519
Would you carry me
like you're doing now?

1018
01:25:32,519 --> 01:25:34,519
Yeah.

1019
01:25:34,519 --> 01:25:39,640
So, if I wasn't a transvestite
terrorist, would you marry me?

1020
01:25:39,640 --> 01:25:42,040
Oh, for fucks sake!

1021
01:25:49,360 --> 01:25:53,080
Well, is Officer Wallace  
going to be a happy man or what?

1022
01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:56,479
We've held you too long,  
by all accounts. Look.

1023
01:25:56,479 --> 01:25:59,680
Oh. Oh, no, you can't.

1024
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:03,120
You can't.
Now when I'm settling in so well.

1025
01:26:07,559 --> 01:26:10,040
Take your head off my shoulder, son.

1026
01:26:11,159 --> 01:26:15,800
You don't understand,  
Paddy. We can't keep you here.

1027
01:26:15,800 --> 01:26:20,479
It's impossible. We couldn't  
even if we wanted to. Fuck this!

1028
01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:22,479
Come on!

1029
01:26:22,479 --> 01:26:25,238
Just for one day.
It wouldn't kill you.

1030
01:26:25,238 --> 01:26:27,640
Sorry, Paddy. It's impossible.

1031
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:31,000
OK. A half day. Please?
No.

1032
01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:36,599
Look, do you mind me asking...?  
Why do you wanna...?

1033
01:26:36,599 --> 01:26:41,400
It doesn't make any sense.  
It just makes me feel secure.

1034
01:26:41,400 --> 01:26:45,000
Secure?  
Yes. You see, in the cells sometimes

1035
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:49,680
I think my legs are turning into air
and are floating in space

1036
01:26:49,680 --> 01:26:53,320
and I'm all alone.
Galactic loneliness.

1037
01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:55,479
Please. Routledge.

1038
01:26:55,479 --> 01:26:58,439
I just want to belong.

1039
01:26:58,439 --> 01:27:02,559
I'd be your best prisoner.
I'd cook and I'd clean

1040
01:27:02,559 --> 01:27:06,238
and I'd sweep
and I'd iron all the uniforms.

1041
01:27:07,238 --> 01:27:09,760
Paddy!

1042
01:27:11,640 --> 01:27:15,439
No. I'm afraid it's goodbye, Paddy.

1043
01:27:18,879 --> 01:27:22,360
♪ "Love Is A Many-Splendored
Thing" - Jerry Vale

1044
01:27:27,919 --> 01:27:37,760
♪ Love is a many-splendored thing...

1045
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:42,040
Jennifer Jones and William Holden.

1046
01:27:45,238 --> 01:27:47,839
Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing?

1047
01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:53,439
Have you ever been in love?

1048
01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:59,640
Once I thought I was.

1049
01:27:59,640 --> 01:28:01,879
He was a lucky man.

1050
01:28:06,159 --> 01:28:08,159
I'd pay you.

1051
01:28:10,198 --> 01:28:12,879
I'd give you whatever you wanted.

1052
01:28:12,879 --> 01:28:16,439
Whatever you wanted, I'd give you.

1053
01:28:21,959 --> 01:28:28,159
♪ In the morning mist two lovers kiss

1054
01:28:28,159 --> 01:28:32,519
♪ And the world stood still

1055
01:28:32,519 --> 01:28:38,640
♪ Then your fingers
touched my silent heart

1056
01:28:38,640 --> 01:28:43,479
♪ And taught it how to sing

1057
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:54,439
♪ Yes, true love's
a many-splendored thing...

1058
01:29:13,839 --> 01:29:16,238
That's my mammy! That's my mammy!

1059
01:29:17,238 --> 01:29:20,159
Excuse me! Excuse me!

1060
01:29:26,599 --> 01:29:39,559
♪ Yes, true love's
a many-splendored thing... ♪

1061
01:30:13,680 --> 01:30:16,720
Hello, sir. Can I be of assistance?

1062
01:30:16,720 --> 01:30:20,198
I don't do anything heavy
but aside from that I...

1063
01:30:20,198 --> 01:30:23,120
I could have you arrested, you know.

1064
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:25,559
Well, ikie-okie me!

1065
01:30:25,559 --> 01:30:27,559
Get in.

1066
01:30:30,760 --> 01:30:35,040
This is no life for a young man  
like you, Patrick. Cuff me, then.

1067
01:30:35,040 --> 01:30:37,919
Carry me to my sweet cell.
No.

1068
01:30:37,919 --> 01:30:40,760
Oh, wait, you're not
an actual punter, are you?

1069
01:30:40,760 --> 01:30:45,320
Oh, how exciting. No, it's not that, 
either. It's more serious than that.

1070
01:30:45,320 --> 01:30:49,000
Of course it is! Of course
it's serious. Everything's -

1071
01:30:49,000 --> 01:30:51,559
You're gonna die out there, Paddy!

1072
01:30:54,559 --> 01:30:57,159
I know.

1073
01:31:01,959 --> 01:31:05,159
I want you to try  
and get a regular job.

1074
01:31:05,159 --> 01:31:07,559
Well, to tell you the truth,
Inspector,

1075
01:31:07,559 --> 01:31:11,120
I'm not that employable.
So I gathered.

1076
01:31:13,439 --> 01:31:15,439
Fucking hell!

1077
01:31:22,320 --> 01:31:24,320
Come with me.

1078
01:31:31,238 --> 01:31:34,879
A group of girls got themselves  
off the street, Patrick.

1079
01:31:34,879 --> 01:31:38,919
Set up a co-op.  
What do you mean, "co-op"?

1080
01:31:38,919 --> 01:31:42,400
You know, sort of, like...  
A union, you could call it.

1081
01:31:44,479 --> 01:31:47,720
Girls. Hello.

1082
01:31:47,720 --> 01:31:50,120
Come on.

1083
01:31:50,120 --> 01:31:54,238
♪
It's not ideal but it's safe.

1084
01:31:54,238 --> 01:31:56,279
And legal.

1085
01:31:56,279 --> 01:31:58,279
Cassandra.

1086
01:31:58,279 --> 01:32:00,879
Goddess of destruction.

1087
01:32:02,559 --> 01:32:05,159
Girls. Hello.

1088
01:32:05,159 --> 01:32:07,879
Hello! This is Patrick.  
Hello.

1089
01:32:07,879 --> 01:32:12,159
He's a friend of mine so be gentle. 
Hello, Sam. We're always nice.

1090
01:32:12,159 --> 01:32:14,519
Do you wanna play poker?  
I love poker.

1091
01:32:14,519 --> 01:32:18,559
Are you working with us?  
I hope so.

1092
01:32:18,559 --> 01:32:22,640
We're a nice bunch here. No  
bitchiness here. Look at his hair.

1093
01:32:22,640 --> 01:32:25,640
Yeah. So, where are you from?  
Er, Cavan.

1094
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:29,879
Very nice. I'm from Dublin. You'll 
do well here. You'll like us.

1095
01:32:29,879 --> 01:32:32,519
You'll definitely like it here.

1096
01:32:36,320 --> 01:32:38,919
'Dear Charlie,
sorry I haven't been in touch

1097
01:32:38,919 --> 01:32:41,839
and I hope that everything
is going fine with you.'

1098
01:32:41,839 --> 01:32:43,879
'How's the bump?'

1099
01:32:43,879 --> 01:32:47,120
'I'm just writing to say
that I've got a new address.'

1100
01:32:47,120 --> 01:32:51,599
'It's Xanadu on Old Compton Street.
You can reach me there at any time.'

1101
01:32:51,599 --> 01:32:55,080
'I'm saving like mad to get over
to see you when it happens

1102
01:32:55,080 --> 01:32:59,720
in, what is it, four months,
two weeks and three days.'

1103
01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:03,559
Hello.   
"Show me your bazoozoms."

1104
01:33:03,559 --> 01:33:05,959
I beg your pardon.
"You know."

1105
01:33:09,040 --> 01:33:11,640
"What's that?!"

1106
01:33:11,640 --> 01:33:15,439
Now, listen, sir,
we can't all have big bazoozoms.

1107
01:33:15,439 --> 01:33:18,238
Some of us
are what you might call svelte.

1108
01:33:18,238 --> 01:33:21,919
"Svelte?"  
Yes. It's a Swedish word, I believe.

1109
01:33:21,919 --> 01:33:26,279
There's also a French one.
"Aye. Give me the French."

1110
01:33:26,279 --> 01:33:29,000
- Camine.
- "Camine."

1111
01:33:29,000 --> 01:33:33,279
And that's what I am, sir.
A svelte camine.

1112
01:33:33,279 --> 01:33:38,919
♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

1113
01:33:38,919 --> 01:33:42,559
♪ The one with the waggly tail - ♪

1114
01:33:42,559 --> 01:33:45,198
Not "waggly", "waggedy"!

1115
01:33:45,198 --> 01:33:47,198
Waggedy tail!

1116
01:33:47,198 --> 01:33:49,680
Dear Sir Unseen, I know my music

1117
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:53,120
and I'm willing to get ten times
whatever pathetic price

1118
01:33:53,120 --> 01:33:56,279
you paid to get in here
that the dog's tail is waggly.

1119
01:33:56,279 --> 01:33:59,760
Now, I wanna hear you bark.

1120
01:34:10,640 --> 01:34:13,000
 Please, don't do that.

1121
01:34:16,238 --> 01:34:18,519
As you wish, sir.

1122
01:34:22,159 --> 01:34:25,080
"I don't do  
this sort of thing often."

1123
01:34:25,080 --> 01:34:28,439
That's alright, sir.
We've got lots of time.

1124
01:34:34,159 --> 01:34:37,279
"I knew a boy like you once."  
Oh, I'm not a boy, sir.

1125
01:34:37,279 --> 01:34:41,479
I'm a girl.
"Oh, you're a girl."

1126
01:34:41,479 --> 01:34:43,479
Yes.

1127
01:34:43,479 --> 01:34:48,120
You can call me Patricia.
That's my name, sir.

1128
01:34:48,120 --> 01:34:53,080
"Can I tell you a story,...  
Patricia?"

1129
01:34:53,080 --> 01:34:56,080
Oh, please do.
Stories are what I love.

1130
01:34:56,080 --> 01:34:59,519
"You love stories?"  
Love stories.

1131
01:34:59,519 --> 01:35:04,760
Even more than mysteries.
"Don't do that, please."

1132
01:35:04,760 --> 01:35:06,760
"Please."

1133
01:35:06,760 --> 01:35:10,238
Very well, sir. I'm all ears.

1134
01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:16,238
"Once upon a time there was a boy

1135
01:35:16,238 --> 01:35:18,800
who never knew  
his father or mother."

1136
01:35:18,800 --> 01:35:23,599
Oh, that's sad. How unbearably sad.
Was he an unbearably sad little boy?

1137
01:35:23,599 --> 01:35:27,599
"He didn't seem so. No. He laughed."

1138
01:35:27,599 --> 01:35:29,680
"He laughed a lot."

1139
01:35:29,680 --> 01:35:33,559
Perhaps the kind of laughter
that disguises tears.

1140
01:35:34,680 --> 01:35:37,879
"Maybe laughter was the only way

1141
01:35:37,879 --> 01:35:42,720
to, er,... deal with..."

1142
01:35:44,839 --> 01:35:47,238
Please go on. To deal with...?

1143
01:35:47,238 --> 01:35:50,360
"To deal with his circumstances."

1144
01:35:53,279 --> 01:35:56,198
You seem to understand
this boy quite well, sir.

1145
01:35:56,198 --> 01:35:59,198
"I-I knew his father."

1146
01:36:01,439 --> 01:36:03,439
And?

1147
01:36:03,439 --> 01:36:08,720
"And... the boy's father  
loved him... very much."

1148
01:36:08,720 --> 01:36:14,760
"He could never tell the boy  
how-how much..." How much...

1149
01:36:17,159 --> 01:36:21,159
He could never tell 
the boy how much he loved him.

1150
01:36:22,519 --> 01:36:26,238
Well, this can't be a true story.
It can't be. Why not?

1151
01:36:26,238 --> 01:36:30,080
Why could he not tell the boy?   
Because he didn't know how.

1152
01:36:30,080 --> 01:36:34,040
"He had the words for many things, 
you see,

1153
01:36:34,040 --> 01:36:36,279
but he didn't have  
the words for that."

1154
01:36:36,279 --> 01:36:39,559
There are only three words
for that. They're easy to say.

1155
01:36:39,559 --> 01:36:43,680
Sometimes they are,  
other times they're not.

1156
01:36:43,680 --> 01:36:47,040
Other times they're,...  
they're impossible.

1157
01:36:47,040 --> 01:36:53,279
He-He loved the boy's mother, too, 
but that was equally impossible.

1158
01:36:59,439 --> 01:37:03,198
So, he never told the boy?

1159
01:37:04,640 --> 01:37:09,320
He never told him and then  
the boy left and came to England.

1160
01:37:10,360 --> 01:37:12,439
And, er, the father had...

1161
01:37:20,320 --> 01:37:22,879
..lots of time to think about...

1162
01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:26,040
..all the things...

1163
01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:30,080
All the things that might have been,
should have been.

1164
01:37:30,080 --> 01:37:32,599
He had all the time in the world  
to think.

1165
01:37:33,879 --> 01:37:36,760
What did he think about?

1166
01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:41,320
He thought he imagined perhaps  
that the boy had come to England

1167
01:37:41,320 --> 01:37:43,320
looking for his mother.

1168
01:37:45,198 --> 01:37:47,680
And what was his mother's name?

1169
01:37:47,680 --> 01:37:51,839
Her name was Eily. Eily Bergin.  
Oh, God.

1170
01:37:51,839 --> 01:37:54,959
And so the father thought  
that the one thing he could do

1171
01:37:54,959 --> 01:37:57,439
was tell him  
where he could find his mother.

1172
01:38:01,279 --> 01:38:04,360
Where to find the Phantom Lady?
Huh? What?

1173
01:38:04,360 --> 01:38:06,599
Please go on.

1174
01:38:06,599 --> 01:38:09,360
She married and had two children.

1175
01:38:09,360 --> 01:38:12,599
Probably wouldn't want to see him. 
Where does she live?

1176
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:18,279
19 Spencer Rise in Kilburn.

1177
01:38:37,040 --> 01:38:40,360
See, what I want, I want English.

1178
01:38:40,360 --> 01:38:45,320
I want... conservative.
I want... East Finchley.

1179
01:38:45,320 --> 01:38:48,360
I want... powerful.

1180
01:38:48,360 --> 01:38:52,320
Do you think it works?
I think you look better than her.

1181
01:38:52,320 --> 01:38:55,080
I do look better than her.
You do.

1182
01:38:55,080 --> 01:38:57,559
♪ "Madame George" - Van Morrison

1183
01:39:08,720 --> 01:39:11,159
♪ Down Cyprus Avenue

1184
01:39:13,439 --> 01:39:17,320
♪ With the childlike visions
leaping into view

1185
01:39:20,680 --> 01:39:24,640
♪ The click and clacking
of the high-heeled shoes

1186
01:39:26,879 --> 01:39:31,400
♪ Ford and Fitzroy
Madame George...

1187
01:39:37,680 --> 01:39:40,238
Do you need help, Miss?

1188
01:39:40,238 --> 01:39:42,439
Um, yes.

1189
01:39:42,439 --> 01:39:46,479
I'm doing a survey
for British Telecom.

1190
01:39:46,479 --> 01:39:50,439
Um, do you know where
19 Spencer Rise is?

1191
01:39:50,439 --> 01:39:53,800
That's my house. There.  
It's your...

1192
01:39:53,800 --> 01:39:58,080
Can't you read numbers?  
Oh, yes, I can read numbers.

1193
01:39:58,080 --> 01:40:01,120
So, what's the survey?

1194
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:04,839
Well, it's-it's about telephones.

1195
01:40:04,839 --> 01:40:08,800
Do you have a telephone?
Everyone has a telephone.

1196
01:40:08,800 --> 01:40:12,760
No, not everyone, young man.
Some people can't afford one.

1197
01:40:12,760 --> 01:40:14,800
Well, we can.

1198
01:40:14,800 --> 01:40:16,839
I see.

1199
01:40:16,839 --> 01:40:21,720
Um, and so, what is your name?

1200
01:40:21,720 --> 01:40:23,879
My name's Patrick.

1201
01:40:25,519 --> 01:40:27,519
Patrick.

1202
01:40:27,519 --> 01:40:31,479
Pa-trick. How many phones
do you have, Patrick?

1203
01:40:31,479 --> 01:40:34,400
Shouldn't you be asking my mother?

1204
01:40:34,400 --> 01:40:37,680
Yes. Yes, of course I should.

1205
01:40:37,680 --> 01:40:40,599
Um, and where would I find her?

1206
01:40:42,680 --> 01:40:45,000
Mum, there's a nice lady here...

1207
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:47,879
♪ Yeah, that's when you fall ♪

1208
01:40:49,279 --> 01:40:51,919
Are you al- Oh, my God!

1209
01:40:55,519 --> 01:40:57,519
Feeling better then?  
Oh, yes.

1210
01:40:57,519 --> 01:40:59,680
Some more tea?  
No, thank you.

1211
01:41:02,198 --> 01:41:06,040
So, what's this survey about then?

1212
01:41:06,040 --> 01:41:09,439
Oh.
It's about phones, Mum.

1213
01:41:09,439 --> 01:41:14,159
Phones. Brit Telecom.  
Yes, British Telecom.

1214
01:41:20,198 --> 01:41:25,959
Um,... are you a multi-phone
household? Yes. We've got three.

1215
01:41:25,959 --> 01:41:28,640
One in the bedroom,  
one in the kitchen

1216
01:41:28,640 --> 01:41:31,040
and one in Geoffrey's office.

1217
01:41:32,400 --> 01:41:35,879
Geoffrey?
Is my husband.

1218
01:41:35,879 --> 01:41:37,919
Oh.

1219
01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:42,080
Um,...

1220
01:41:43,080 --> 01:41:45,400
Sorry. Um...

1221
01:41:46,959 --> 01:41:50,080
How frequently
is your telephone used?

1222
01:41:50,080 --> 01:41:52,640
Very.

1223
01:41:52,640 --> 01:41:56,198
Laura's never off it.  
Oh. Laura...

1224
01:41:57,279 --> 01:41:59,599
My daughter.  
Oh.

1225
01:41:59,599 --> 01:42:01,800
She's 13.  
I see.

1226
01:42:03,479 --> 01:42:07,640
You don't use the phone much,  
Patrick, eh? No, I suppose not.

1227
01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:15,919
Hmm.
Well, Miss...

1228
01:42:15,919 --> 01:42:19,000
Johnstone. Delia Johnstone.
Johnstone.

1229
01:42:19,000 --> 01:42:22,479
If you have any other questions,
don't hesitate to call.

1230
01:42:24,640 --> 01:42:27,599
No, I think I have more than enough.
Thank you.

1231
01:42:33,159 --> 01:42:36,879
Thank you for tea.
Oh, you're welcome. Bye.

1232
01:42:56,000 --> 01:42:58,559
Shouldn't you have a uniform?

1233
01:42:58,559 --> 01:43:01,360
No, I shouldn't have a uniform.

1234
01:43:01,360 --> 01:43:05,680
The men who put the phones in  
have a uniform. Do they now?

1235
01:43:05,680 --> 01:43:09,198
Aren't they from Telecom?  
Yes, they are.

1236
01:43:09,198 --> 01:43:12,159
How come Telecom don't know  
how many phones we have?

1237
01:43:12,159 --> 01:43:16,760
It's from a different department.
Why don't you just phone up then?

1238
01:43:16,760 --> 01:43:19,879
There's nothing like
the personal touch, is there?

1239
01:43:19,879 --> 01:43:24,360
Why don't - Young man, I get
the feeling you don't like me.

1240
01:43:24,360 --> 01:43:26,839
You're wrong, I think you're nice.

1241
01:43:29,279 --> 01:43:31,800
Well, I think you're nice, too.

1242
01:43:31,800 --> 01:43:35,400
Why are you crying?  
It's conjunctivitis.

1243
01:43:36,720 --> 01:43:40,120
'I gave your address to Father Liam 
and I hope you don't mind.'

1244
01:43:40,120 --> 01:43:43,559
'He's been very kind to me and I  
need all the kindness I can get.'

1245
01:43:43,559 --> 01:43:47,159
'The Special Branch lifted me  
on a dope charge, you see.'

1246
01:43:47,159 --> 01:43:49,198
'They used that to get to Irwin.'

1247
01:43:49,198 --> 01:43:52,680
They lifted Charlie  
on the dope charges...

1248
01:43:54,559 --> 01:43:58,760
..and say she'll be having her baby
in prison if I didn't - Didn't what?

1249
01:44:02,080 --> 01:44:04,879
If I didn't inform them  
of the operation.

1250
01:44:06,879 --> 01:44:10,238
You do it. No, you do it.  
I can't. I went to school

1251
01:44:10,238 --> 01:44:15,279
with his brother. The Cavan man.  
Cavan man. Cavan man, isn't he?

1252
01:44:21,680 --> 01:44:24,800
♪ And I'm caught one more time

1253
01:44:27,159 --> 01:44:30,400
♪ Up on Cyprus Avenue

1254
01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:40,159
♪ I'm caught one more time

1255
01:44:41,519 --> 01:44:45,720
♪ Up on Cyprus Avenue

1256
01:44:51,000 --> 01:44:55,360
♪ And I'm conquered in a car seat

1257
01:44:56,680 --> 01:44:59,238
♪ Not a thing that I can do ♪

1258
01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:08,360
What will I call you?
Father.

1259
01:45:12,040 --> 01:45:14,479
You call me, Father. Come in.

1260
01:45:21,279 --> 01:45:26,360
I can't. I prayed, you know.
I prayed you'd come back.

1261
01:45:28,320 --> 01:45:30,800
Did you find her?  
Yes.

1262
01:45:32,238 --> 01:45:34,320
You know, we're kind of...

1263
01:45:36,198 --> 01:45:40,919
Where's Charlie?
She's upstairs. Come on.

1264
01:45:45,000 --> 01:45:48,760
After the drugs charge there were  
problems at home so I took her in.

1265
01:45:48,760 --> 01:45:52,360
She hardly eats a thing, you know. 
She's wasting away.

1266
01:45:59,800 --> 01:46:01,800
Maybe you could...

1267
01:46:03,040 --> 01:46:05,839
Where do you sleep, Father?
Don't worry about me.

1268
01:46:10,320 --> 01:46:12,320
Charlie.

1269
01:46:14,879 --> 01:46:18,198
Is that you, Kitten?  
Sh. Charlie.

1270
01:46:22,159 --> 01:46:26,760
They put a rubbish bag  
over his head.

1271
01:46:26,760 --> 01:46:28,800
Hush, Charlie.

1272
01:46:28,800 --> 01:46:31,599
My parents told me to go back  
where I came from.

1273
01:46:31,599 --> 01:46:33,720
Don't think about it, Charlie.

1274
01:46:33,720 --> 01:46:36,439
You're pregnant.
That's all that matters now.

1275
01:46:37,760 --> 01:46:40,320
I'm here to hep you.

1276
01:46:46,879 --> 01:46:49,680
♪ "Fly, Robin, Fly" -
Silver Convention

1277
01:46:49,680 --> 01:46:51,800
♪ Fly, Robin, Fly

1278
01:46:54,400 --> 01:46:56,559
♪ Fly, Robin, fly

1279
01:46:58,599 --> 01:47:01,000
♪ Fly, Robin, fly

1280
01:47:03,479 --> 01:47:06,120
♪ Up, up to the sky ♪

1281
01:47:09,800 --> 01:47:13,198
Robins, Father. Would you believe it?
Pecking at the cream.

1282
01:47:13,198 --> 01:47:15,800
The poor things must be starved.

1283
01:47:27,320 --> 01:47:31,120
You have your mother's eyes.  
You know that, don't you?

1284
01:47:31,120 --> 01:47:34,159
The colour of the ocean beyond  
Ross's Point.

1285
01:47:38,198 --> 01:47:40,198
You took her there?

1286
01:47:44,080 --> 01:47:46,080
Many times.

1287
01:47:48,400 --> 01:47:52,159
Things could have been so different.
Sh.

1288
01:47:52,159 --> 01:47:54,400
Don't say anything.

1289
01:47:55,680 --> 01:48:00,599
Because, you know, the strangest
thing... I went looking for her...

1290
01:48:02,279 --> 01:48:04,279
..but I found you.

1291
01:48:12,479 --> 01:48:16,800
♪ How much is that doggie
in the window...?

1292
01:48:16,800 --> 01:48:19,479
No, Una. In the end,  
it was a blessed release.

1293
01:48:19,479 --> 01:48:22,680
She was a lovely woman.  
She never missed a day of mass.

1294
01:48:22,680 --> 01:48:26,680
When they opened her up they found 
a lump as big as a melon. A melon?

1295
01:48:26,680 --> 01:48:30,919
That big? Maybe it was a grapefruit.
I get them mixed up.

1296
01:48:30,919 --> 01:48:34,159
So, we're not exactly blessed
with choice, Father dear.

1297
01:48:35,360 --> 01:48:38,599
And is there any rule that says
that when you're pregnant

1298
01:48:38,599 --> 01:48:42,159
you need to dress like a lollipop
lady? I know of no such rule.

1299
01:48:42,159 --> 01:48:44,479
No, so I thought...

1300
01:48:46,040 --> 01:48:50,559
This little hippie number might
give her the lift she needs. Nice.

1301
01:48:50,559 --> 01:48:54,800
Velvet, Father. Like crushed grass.
Oh, look, Father!

1302
01:48:58,400 --> 01:49:03,279
Oh, can we try the silver fur,
Missus? Is it for yourself?

1303
01:49:05,519 --> 01:49:08,040
25 different coloured baby gloves.

1304
01:49:08,040 --> 01:49:12,439
4 teddy bears I can understand  
but I don't need a pram yet, Kit.

1305
01:49:12,439 --> 01:49:14,439
You will.

1306
01:49:14,439 --> 01:49:18,720
Where did you get the money?  
Oh, singing.

1307
01:49:18,720 --> 01:49:22,040
♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

1308
01:49:26,000 --> 01:49:29,680
Is it "waggly" or "waggedy", Charlie?
Waggly.

1309
01:49:29,680 --> 01:49:32,400
No, wait a minute...

1310
01:49:32,400 --> 01:49:34,559
Oh, Father! Whoo-hoo!

1311
01:49:34,559 --> 01:49:37,640
How are youse?  
You know the doggie with the tail?

1312
01:49:37,640 --> 01:49:40,800
Is it waggly or waggedy?
The song?

1313
01:49:40,800 --> 01:49:45,839
Waggedy, I seem to remember. Your  
mother never stopped singing it.

1314
01:49:45,839 --> 01:49:48,320
Aye, waggedy tail.  
Waggedy.

1315
01:49:48,320 --> 01:49:51,720
♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

1316
01:49:51,720 --> 01:49:55,879
Woof! Woof!  
♪ The one with the waggedy tail

1317
01:49:55,879 --> 01:49:59,479
♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

1318
01:49:59,479 --> 01:50:05,159
Oh, Jesus Christ! Why doesn't  
the Bishop do something?

1319
01:50:05,159 --> 01:50:07,839
The bishop we have  
isn't worth a damn!

1320
01:50:22,000 --> 01:50:24,238
Do you know something, Thomas,

1321
01:50:24,238 --> 01:50:27,000
there are times  
when I wish I was a bus conductor.

1322
01:50:28,479 --> 01:50:31,680
♪ "Zadok The Priest" -
Georg Friedrich Handel

1323
01:51:12,720 --> 01:51:14,720
Patrick!

1324
01:51:14,720 --> 01:51:17,159
Charlie!

1325
01:51:37,439 --> 01:51:39,439
Up here!

1326
01:51:41,400 --> 01:51:44,879
Up the top! Up the top!

1327
01:51:44,879 --> 01:51:47,439
Come on now!

1328
01:52:44,479 --> 01:52:46,800
I can't stay here, anyways.

1329
01:52:46,800 --> 01:52:49,800
You should come and see us  
after the baby's...

1330
01:52:49,800 --> 01:52:52,159
The only parish I've been offered

1331
01:52:52,159 --> 01:52:54,720
is in Kilburn  
so you might see a lot of me.

1332
01:53:02,640 --> 01:53:05,120
You saved my life, Father.

1333
01:53:07,080 --> 01:53:09,080
And mine.

1334
01:53:13,439 --> 01:53:16,080
Great, big, fire-proof man.

1335
01:53:31,519 --> 01:53:35,599
 Come on, Charlie, push!

1336
01:53:35,599 --> 01:53:39,040
Push!
I am pushing, Kit! Fuck it!

1337
01:53:39,040 --> 01:53:41,159
I am pushing!  
Please!

1338
01:53:41,159 --> 01:53:43,159
Jesus!

1339
01:53:43,159 --> 01:53:45,320
It's tearing me apart!

1340
01:53:45,320 --> 01:53:47,720
♪ "Sugar Baby Love" - The Rubettes

1341
01:53:54,640 --> 01:53:57,320
Hey. You're the telephone lady.

1342
01:53:58,400 --> 01:54:03,198
Oh. If it isn't the young boy
from the multi-phone household.

1343
01:54:03,198 --> 01:54:06,238
What are you doing here?
My mum's with the doctor.

1344
01:54:06,238 --> 01:54:09,120
She's, you know,  
got a bun in the fireplace.

1345
01:54:11,159 --> 01:54:15,919
I think you mean the oven, young man.
OK, the oven. What's your name?

1346
01:54:20,839 --> 01:54:23,919
The Phantom lady.
That's a funny name.

1347
01:54:23,919 --> 01:54:26,720
I know that. I'm a funny lady.

1348
01:54:26,720 --> 01:54:30,479
Is that your baby?  
No. It's hers.

1349
01:54:33,000 --> 01:54:36,239
- She's having her fireplace checked.
-

1350
01:54:36,239 --> 01:54:39,320
Isn't she? Yes, she is!

1351
01:54:39,320 --> 01:54:43,120
Charlie, darling, this is...
Patrick.

1352
01:54:43,120 --> 01:54:46,040
This is my young friend, Patrick.

1353
01:54:46,040 --> 01:54:49,279
So, how's your fireplace?  
Aw!

1354
01:54:49,279 --> 01:54:53,839
My fireplace is 100 percent. And
your little bun's just fine, too.

1355
01:54:53,839 --> 01:54:56,239
Yes, you are.

1356
01:55:01,599 --> 01:55:05,559
Patrick, there's your mum.
You'd better run.

1357
01:55:05,559 --> 01:55:07,559
OK.

1358
01:55:07,559 --> 01:55:09,559
Patrick.

1359
01:55:09,559 --> 01:55:12,879
Will you tell her
that the telephone lady

1360
01:55:12,879 --> 01:55:16,159
says that she hopes it's a girl
this time?

1361
01:55:16,159 --> 01:55:18,199
OK.  
OK.

1362
01:55:48,760 --> 01:55:52,040
♪ Sugar baby love

1363
01:55:52,040 --> 01:55:55,400
♪ Sugar baby love

1364
01:55:55,400 --> 01:55:58,760
♪ I didn't mean to hurt you

1365
01:56:04,959 --> 01:56:06,959
♪ People

1366
01:56:08,360 --> 01:56:10,559
♪ Take my advice

1367
01:56:11,720 --> 01:56:14,479
♪ If you love someone

1368
01:56:14,479 --> 01:56:16,680
♪ Don't think twice

1369
01:56:16,680 --> 01:56:20,400
♪ Love your baby love... ♪


